Shifting your thinking....
I woke up in the middle of the night last week with an idea. An idea that kept me awake as I tried to force myself back to sleep.I acknowledged what was happening, made a mental note of the idea and then I was able to fall back to sleep. That sentence will make sense in a minute. You see, this has happened to me in the past.
It first happened after my dad died in 1989. At the time I was 18, and I admit I was freaked out after watching my father take his last breath and leave this physical world. I found it very difficult to sleep for the months to follow.
Several months later, I had a life changing conversation with a family member. Lola explained to me, not to be afraid of my dad making contact with me in my dreams. That I needed to change my way of thinking. She went on to tell me it was a gift. I think I looked at her in utter disbelief, so she went on to explain that he was visiting me, not to have me feel scared but to reassure. To know that his spirit was alive and well. That he would always be with me, while not in his physical body but in spirit.
That was a lot for my teenage brain to wrap my head around. Not gonna lie. That seed was planted and needed a lot of water....
Fast forward.
Scott died suddenly in the shower of a massive heart attack. My boys unfortunately found him with my dear neighbor.
I was in shock. It was devastating.
When people began to ask me how I was doing, Something shifted my thoughts. I would say to them this:
1) I am happy that the bad guys didn't kill him. That my boys will never feel the need to seek revenge.(having been in the Seal Teams for 21 years there was a possibility of this)
2) There was no question about if he suffered. The coroner said it was very clear he was gone before he hit the ground.
3) I couldn't imagine having to transport his body back from overseas. He had just returned from Africa 4 days earlier. He was home. I have a friend whose husband passed in Iraq. By the time his body was returned and an autopsy was performed, all tests proved inconclusive. She was left with no closure.
I focused on the silver lining of the shitty cloud I was under.
The shift in my thinking had happened without me even realizing. How and why I have no reason or answers.
It just happened. It was a gift.
When I meet people for the first time and they have been told the story, they look at me and say they are sorry. I think this is an automatic response. My usual response goes something like this, there is no need to apologize for what I have gone through. It has molded me into the person I have become. I did the work, learned valuable lessons and am far stronger and wiser than I ever could have imagined.
I had read a book years ago by Elizabeth Lesser called Broken Open. It is a powerful book with several short stories of people going through tragic situations. The premise was this, you can continue to live your first life.... or you can phoenix from the ashes of the tragedy and live a second life with meaning and purpose. Not forgetting the events, but using the knowledge one gains in those times to help others.
Shifting you thinking
I hashtag #theshiftisthegift all the time on my social media. I am a firm believer that you can rise and phoenix, if you choose. Shifting your thinking does not have to refer only to when tragedy strikes. It can be usefully applied in day to day situations.
I use the example of my mom. When she was diagnosed with Rheumatoid years ago,she was put on Lasix. A medication to decrease fluid retention. She had to pee a lot. She was letting me know how tired she was getting up and down having to go to the bathroom. I explained to her she needed to shift her thinking... She needed to think of transitioning from sit <--> stand as an exercise. It was an opportunity to get her legs stronger.
At first she looked at me like I was a bit nutzo and laughed.Then she realized the logic. Now?... my mom does not mention the Lasix side effects. If anything, she tells me how many "squats"she gets in during the day!
I woke up the other night, with the idea of writing a blog about shifting thinking.I have come to accept my thoughts that come during my sleep as a gift from the other side, just as Lola explained so many years ago.
In truth, I am not sure why the idea came to me.I choose to trust my inner compass and my gut. I firmly believe someone out there in need of guidance in shifting their mindset. Possibly this little blog of mine can make a difference.
Wishing you all the best,
