the rule of 10-10-10

10 minutes, 10 months or 10 years...


I know the first time I heard this concept. It was after we had bought the truck and I had free XM radio. Oprah has a station (I don't have XM radio any longer but guessing she still has the station). Her long time friend  Gayle King had a show that somehow was always on while I was driving. She mentioned this concept specifically about when making decisions dealing with her adult children. I'm certain  she mentioned the author etc, but I have to admit, I was having a light bulb moment and all that sunk in was 10 minutes, 10 months, 10 years.

Ever since that first day I heard the concept, I have used this in making decisions. I decided to do some research to see where in fact this idea had originated from so I can give the author rightful acknowledgement. Suzy Welch wrote the book and devised the concept. Suzy Welch, thank you.

I decided  to write about 10-10-10 today because  I can say that at the age of 44, I have learned many life lessons. One of most important, is that that I will continue to have an issue or situation arise until I learn what lesson I need to learn. I am a firm believer that you will be put into or given situations where you are there to learn a valuable lesson. If you don't learn the lesson, it will return. Maybe not looking exactly the same, BUT the lesson remains unchanged. It is simply wrapped up in a different package.

 As a young girl I was never told this sage advice. As a parent I have been very intentional about planting seeds of  this concept in the boys.'Trust me boys, learn your lesson the first time or you will have the issue re-visit you again and again'. I use these times during these life lessons as teaching moments. It helps them to not wallow in the poor me mode (the pity party must be brief) and focus on what they are supposed to be learning from the given situation. Some are more significant lessons that need to be learned, while others are the smaller irritating ones of teenage boys growing up learning life skills.

It is my experience when raising kids, there are lessons being learned left and right.  I look at difficult decisions keeping 10-10-10 in mind. The concept allows me the ability to make decisions with far less deliberation. I think of times where the boys acted as though it was THE MOST IMPORTANT thing.... yeah, not really. When you project out 10 minutes, yes, they will be upset, 10 months, probably not, 10 years, not a chance they will even remember.

The issue arises when the lesson has not been learned. When you being to feel like you are having a Groundhog day moment.  You know what I mean, you are thinking to yourself, or maybe verbalizing  out loud, 'you've gotta be kidding me'. Again? As parents we have all been there. It is not a comfortable place to be. As far as the  kids, I don't know if they see it as the same lesson coming back  for another go at the lesson, or that they are simply in  a crappy place.

I know that we all have been given 10-10-10 moments in life. Turning points that last far longer than 10 years. Moments that will stay in our gray matter until our last breath. They create who we are and what we become. I believe that these moments and how we learn and proceed mold us into the beings we are meant to be.

I welcome you to try 10-10-10, notice if it changes your decision making process.

All the best,
Mac