have you ever been given words of wisdom?

Have you ever been given some sage advice that once it was told to you , you never forgot?

I had that experience from my dad  many years ago. He explained this concept to me;

There is a need to know and a need to tell. 

As a teenager, I didn't really think about how long I would remember those words.  He used the statement when referring to girls and gossip. The seed was planted.

 I think of this blog as a pen pal of sorts.  You see, I enjoy the process of being introspective on what I am feeling, where my brain is and what is showing up in my week. I ponder what I want to write about and then bring thoughts to words. I'm not quite sure how people respond to my posts. All I can see are numbers and locations of readers. It is my hope that you  enjoy my writing, with all of my incorrect sentence structure and run-on sentences. I don't spend hours editing, it is usually a one shot deal.

When remembering my dad, I think about his parenting style. I came late in life for him, I believe he enjoyed parenting a bit more. I experienced a different dad than my older siblings. He would pay me $100 to sit down for an afternoon and follow along as he read Shakespeare aloud. I thought it was such a good deal back in the day,  now the memories are priceless...

I have always said, being a mom is the hardest job I have been given. Being basically a single parent with Scott overseas most of the time, I had to wear both hats. My parenting style might seem a bit unorthodox to some, like making the boys drop and do 20 push-ups (as some of you have seen, farting in the car is a biggie). I did not dream up  these crazy consequences,it began with Scott. At first I was mortified when I watched Scott  dish out the consequences for poor behavior. I realized that the push ups not only made them stronger, it gave them time to think about their actions. I don't really know where he thought up some of the consequences, I'm guessing somewhere in the course of being in the teams it was embedded. Physical challenges = increased chances of  not wanting to repeat consequence.

Nowadays? Well, I think drop and do 20 is a standard  phrase rolling off my lips. The best part is when they now call each other out! Telling the guilty party to do 20! My parenting style is unique and I understand not for everyone. But being a mom raising boys, I had to make sure they remembered who was actually in charge. Many of my military moms friends will understand where I am coming from.

Why do I bring this up?

You see as these boys are getting older, they are beginning to experience many of  life's firsts.

First girlfriend
First kiss

                           First breakup...

ugh..

We are all born with knowledge but it is not until we experience that we truly understand.

(In truth, I don't remember where I read this, but it struck a chord)

I assume that of  you  have experienced a first breakup,  so we understand the process and the waves of emotions.

I will not go into specifics about what is happening, except that my heart feels such a need to be present for him,while I see him trying to handle things in a mature fashion. As a parent, I think it is normal to want to  protect your child from experiencing unnecessary pain. Unfortunately, my hands are tied here. It is part of the aches and pains of teenage life and growing up. Right now he is creating the foundation that will build him into the man he is to become.

With being present for him emotionally, I understand there needs to be words of encouragement. Lifting of the spirits, filling his tank full of what I call warm and fuzzies. I think back to my first breakup, and what a hot mess I was. Mitchell as a freshman is far more mature than I ever was at his age.I will put a shout out and thank you to  Eric J for being my fall guy when I lost my marbles so many years ago.

 Although mutual decisions were made, rejection(however it looks) still sucks.

As a parent, logically I know all three boys are going to go through this experience. I also understand that with three different personalities, the experience will be a tad different with a common theme. I will simply be a bit more seasoned the next time around...

As a parent, I am planting seeds just like my dad. I hope that some day they will look back fondly and remember things I have said with a greater understanding.

My dad's wise words?

Here is what I am wanting to share with you, especially  for those of you who are experiencing a blended family....

I witnessed something rather touching  the other night.

Mitchell had a tough day. The little boys, observed quietly from afar to make sure they gave him his space while we chatted privately. They made discreet eye contact with me, acknowledging  they needed  to be considerate. After dinner, I asked the little's to clean up the dishes etc. They were happy to pull up the slack but with some humor. You see , Luke (quite clever kiddo ) said to me," let me get this straight... when I breakup with a girl and am sad, I can get out of doing dishes?" I started to laugh and said yes. You see with our  blending of families we are experiencing many  firsts together.

This is the first breakup.

It warmed my heart to see the little boys(girlfriend-less) laughing and try to get Mitchell in a better mood. To me it confirmed,their brotherhood was being solidified. All the consequences that have been given out, the pissing the other one off and the push-ups... brotherhood bonding was achieved....

I have always been one to try to find the silver lining no matter how craptastic the situation. For me, the silver lining was obvious. It was about the brotherly bonding. Unfortunately, sometimes you need to have the storm before the rainbow can shine through.


As parents we all go through challenging times with our kiddos. I challenge during the next storm to look for the silver lining.. the rainbow will be there!


I welcome to hear any words of wisdom you have been given that has stuck with you.

Wishing you all the best with Peace, Love, Blessings and Gratitude,