Low/high maintenance 2016

Today, I begin the day in what I call 'shlump-a-dinka' clothes.... The weather is changing, I am enjoying the cooler temps, bringing out some old favorite sweats that have been keeping space in my dresser....I started thinking about my low/high maintenance thinking.....I decided to update a  blog I had written about this topic and repost for those who are new to my page...

Low/high maintenance is a term I coined many years back chatting with my best friend Cindy. When it first rolled off my tongue, she looked at me and laughed. You see, I can come up with these Mac-ism's every once in a while. This one happened to stick.

So here is the thought behind the term. There are areas of my life where I am  really low maintenance. On the other hand, there are a few areas of my life where I  can be completely high maintenance. So instead of living in the land of medium, I'm Low/high or High/low depending on the specific situation.

Areas of low maintenance:

 CLOTHES, I enjoy shopping at TJ Maxx, Ross, Target all those discount places and I LOVE being able to find things on sale that I actually will wear.  I buy simple classic pieces. I don't  tend to buy trendy items, unless I  really love them. When it comes to clothes, I had on my bucket list to purchase a kick ass pair of expensive jeans. But, my favorite ones at the moment are my Gap boyfriend jeans.


NAILS, another area of low maintenance for this girly. I have pedicures  to keep my toes looking clean and polished, but my fingernails? I think I spent too many years at Mercy hospital outpatient physical therapy treating patients with manual techniques. Long nails are not my thing, would rather keep them on the shorter side.


HAIR, (is a two-fer for me, both low +high) I have lots of it. I've had many people take locks of my cut hair at the salon to try and match with their colorist. My hair is on the longer side at the moment and in all honesty, usually in a bun on top of my head. Between my brothers and I, I was given the gift of a seriously full head of thick hair. They unfortunately did not fair so well :0 It takes so much time and effort to get my hair looking cute. The only time I am guaranteed to have stylish hair is when I am leaving the salon.... Thank you Aliza Margolis for your talent and strong arms ....I will on occasion take a #daily 3 picture when I leave just to remember that I do have a cute cut and style. Here is the high/low flip side to that...... I have experienced some seriously shitty hair cuts in my day. I've even walked out with crooked bangs!... no joke.. so with my low maintenance day to day  approach, I am high maintenance about what stylist chair I choose to sit....and with that there are no coupon's and worth every cent ;)


Now, I think you are asking yourself, so tell me  about some high maintenance items Mac....

EATING OUT, this is tricky because part of my high category is that I am gluten and dairy free. I have learned over the years , what I can and cannot eat without consequences. I have learned to eat instinctively. I've learned that I don't have to order from the menu.  I  have asked the waiter on many occasions if I could order off the menu, since we are a family of 5 we have to feed all taste buds....I told him what I wanted and WA--LA....a delicious salad was served amidst the sea of hot wings and  I felt completely satisfied.

EYELASHES, what? yes, eyelashes. I get them tinted. You see I don't like wearing mascara daily. On the days when I taught hot yoga (105 F, 40-60% humidity) it would be a joke to even apply! So tinting, gives me dark lashes without the extra step of applying mascara.

SELF TANNER, again you ask what? Well, here is the scoop with this one. I am a natural red head who has hazel/brown eyes. I feel healthier and cuter with a little color in my skin... My skin tan's compared to those with blue or green eyes. That was great for me in my younger years, until I was diagnosed with melanoma in 1998 at the age of 28. After that, baking my skin in the mid-day sun was no longer an option..... So back to self -tanning, the  flip side of my HIGH to my LOW, I have tried  many brands over the years, some far pricier than others , and guess which one I prefer, Jergens and St Mortiz at the moment... go figure... nothing fancy....

It is quite interesting when you stop and think about where you draw your line in the sand. Sometimes, there is no  justified reason why you feel a certain way. What are your deal breakers and what are non-issues....

 I welcome you to take a few moments during the course of your day, and check in with yourself, take some mental notes of your own highs + lows maybe you will share, or maybe just maybe you will have a giggle and learn something new about yourself you never realized before..... 
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Wishing you all the best,

#Daily3 turns 2 today!

Oct 4, 2014 is the day my Daily 3 's began.

I shifted my thinking and started looking for the silver lining in my day to day life. I decided to start taking a quick photo of 3 things I was thankful for everyday. It became my own online gratitude journal.

You see, when Scott died, a shift happened... when people asked me how I was doing I gave them 3 responses... 1)thankful the bad guys didn't kill him(being in the Seal Teams it was always a possibility) my boys do not have subconscious feelings of retaliation  2) there was no question about if he had suffered (the coroner said he was dead before he hit the floor with this heart attack) and lastly 3) I didn't have to think about bringing his body back from over seas, since he had just returned from Africa 4 days earlier...That was my blanket response.... 3 things.... why? I have no idea.... 

For those of you new to my page, I will give you a snippet on the who and the why...

My name is Macara Brachmann, I was widowed at 41. I reconnected with a boy(SR) that I had gone to high school with many many moons ago. He also had been widowed several years earlier. Our long distance relationship evolved into an amazing deep love that it is today . It is uniquely ours, 2 widows, 3 teenage boys and 2 Labradors (do I need to put in, plenty of crazy?)

Logistics:

SR and I had a long distance relationship...me in MN which had been our home for the past eight year and SR in CA. 

We decided it was time to live under one roof, so the big move happened in 2013 , returning to CA and into SR's home. It was never intended to be our second chapter home. Steve had lived is his home for 12 years and we agreed that we wanted the boys to be living closer to where they were going to go to school.It was a great house, but it was time for change. We started prepping the house to put on the market and started some serious house hunting. 

The next phase was where the whirlwind began. 

SR's house was a great house, so much so that he had an offer, FULL PRICE, ALL CASH + oh AND 20 DAY ESCROW!!! only being on the market 4 days!!!!

yup, SHIT HIT the FAN...

Life went into complete get'er done mode. You know what I mean, the panic of oh shit, 20 days to pack and find a house.... 

Well, lets just say, we didn't find a house in 20 days. We ended up moving into what I call a cozy original bungalow (can you read between the lines?) So original that we had one outlet in the kitchen! yup  circa 1950's.

Mentally, I knew moving into this place,  was only temporary.  I am a firm believer you can do anything you set your mind to. Living in the cozy bungalow with an insane commute to get the boys to school and their sporting activities,was only temporary I kept telling myself. I knew that we would eventually find our family home. It was a discouraging process but in retrospect necessary.

We moved into this cozy bungalow with the mindset, 3 months, we will definitely have found  our next home in 3 months....

After we moved in. The dust settled so to speak and I was staring at what I was calling home. Dark wood paneling, 1200 square feet, cozy for this family of 5 and 2 large pups . I  had to pull up my big girl panties and say to myself, I can make anyplace feel like home dammit. 

What was the easiest fix?.... PAINT!!!


I knew that painting the dark paneling was the easiest fix. A fresh coat of white paint went up and made a significant difference, the house felt cleaner, more like a quaint cottage. Or at least that is how I decided to spin it in my own mind.


3 months turned into 7... 

I would sit in the house and feel overwhelmed at all that transpired for us to be living there. It was pretty craptastic, I'm not gonna lie. If I told you the entire story your head would be shaking, like you gotta be kidding me....I kept telling myself, it was happening for a reason, it would all make sense at some point....

 I decided that the way I was going to change my mindset was to take 3 pictures a day of appreciation. no fancy lighting and cameras, just my phone camera + 3 things that made me smile. 3 things that might not make a difference to anyone else on the planet, but for me on that day, it did.That day was OCT 4,2014 my #Daily3 was born.... I began training my brain to look for the silver lining of each day.

This was my first post, I think to myself why didn't I start on Oct 1? Who knows.... Oct 4 was when my clarity of shifting hit.  It was absolutely nothing exciting... morning coffee with coconut oil, my dinner at the Habit and enjoying some quality time with Mitchell while the little's were at football practice....this was my transitional life... I had to find moments that made me smile.

I made the commitment to myself to post everyday.....  What happened next was such a complete surprise.  I started receiving emails from people who had found my page and were thanking me... I thought to myself... why? I started these posts purely as a method to shift my thinking going through a sucky situation and somehow someway, it is touching others.... Interesting how life works....

After a complete renovation, we  moved into our home The RNB (Rogers n Brachmann) in March of 2015.  I decided to continue to post since truth be told, it helps me stay focused on the good in my day to day life. Raising teenage boys, any children for that matter, can be challenging.... this keeps me focused on the good in each day. The re-wiring was a success! 

So although I was faced with living in that original cozy bungalow in Reseda Ca,with a 3 hour commute each day... something wonderful resulted....little did I ever consider that my #daily3 could make a difference in other people's lives.

Last year was #daily3's 1st anniversary!

this was my 1 year post... we were driving down the  I-5 back to Agoura after being in Stockton for the weekend. Not super exciting, I know, but again, this is my real life, it is not always rainbow and unicorns! Although we did have rainbows and tutu's that day :)

This life has been quite a journey in all honesty.At 46, I am thankful where I am standing today.  My heart is humbled by the response of others. I am happy to know that my nightly posts have turned into something that others look forward to seeing.

It has become a bit of a joke with the kiddos, the novelty as they say..." is all over rover".... They are not wanting to be tagged.....I think in the pretend world of social media +Instagram, I don't have the staged pics or a ton of followers..... 

Here is the good news, it doesn't matter to me! 

I am keeping it genuine to who I am and why it began....I would be lying to you if I said it was easy to find 3 things everyday... some days its tough... but all the more reason to find and post..I am embracing this journey I have been given..looking for the silver lining... that is always there...

I am not going to dive deeply into the benefits of bringing gratitude into your life in this post,I will save that for another time.  What I will say is this, when you bring the habit of gratitude into your life, changes happen....

here are just a few:

• stronger immune systems + lower blood pressure
• more joy + optimism
• sleep better

I do laugh at times. I get posts from many different people trying to solicit me. Here is my info if you are interested. I am in private practice as a Certified Health Coach. I only take as many clients as I can balance with my own life. I received my training through IIN, I am AADP certified, I  have my 200-RYT and am a contributor to Mindbodygreen.... BLISS with Mac, Balanced Living In Small Steps is my practice. I don't sell any specific products or product line, I am not getting paid for any endorsements, if I post a product, it is because I believe and have used them .. I teach my clients how to find balance in their lives...teaching them about shifting their thinking...finding their own sweet spot...finding homeostasis.... we are all different...BUT.... there is one central idea that is universal....

 Water,Vegetables and exercise are good for you

So today, I say Happy Birthday Daily 3's and thank you. I am thankful that my mindset in day to day living has shifted. It continues to make my heart full when people who first meet me say I have such a great attitude! I am thankful for the people who have reached out and lives I've touched. I hope you begin to see the silver lining in your days as I have done mine. ...   I am so very grateful for those of you who have supported this journey of my Daily3 's these past two years, thank you.  

I am looking forward to what this next year brings. I have a feeling good things are coming in 2017 ;)


Health and Happiness,

mother's day 2016, wowza

today is the Saturday before Mother's day 2016. it is overcast with some off and on drizzle, which makes for a day lounging in comfy sweats.

our house is quiet. 

My older son is at a birthday sleepover tonight. I felt unsure about agreeing to him going. 

You see, Mother's day has always been a special day for me. It is the one day since the boys have been old enough when they make me breakfast. I could  always hear them banging around in the kitchen , with big smiles on their faces full of pride for a job well done with the finished project. They worked together and it made my heart swell with love. 

When we lived in MN, my mom living next door, would come over in the early morning hours to assist when they were too little to be in the kitchen alone. Jack was always the ringleader...a week in advance, he was planning with my mom. Mom would inevitably have a chuckle or two shaking her head..... but never revealing.... like one year, I received a 4 toast toaster.... because jack thought it would be easier for me to toast at the same time instead of one of them waiting!!!

Mother's day 2015 was the start of my moms downward health spiral truth be told. She took a hard fall that day, at my home. In all the years I have practiced physical therapy, I have never had a patient fall , let alone that hard on my watch.... ugh.... Over the next almost year, she waged many health storms... somehow was able to  pull through each  ... As my brother described mom's health as  Rubicks cube -like... many moving pieces....

I as most women, wear many hats. My most important job for the past year has been taking care of my mom. I believe my years of working with the geriatric population in Rochester MN primed me. My faith overflows when I stop and take a step back reflecting  on how God prepared me with the tools to support her this past year. 

Mothers Day  2016. It is my first mother's day not having a mom to celebrate. My mom passed away April 15th after a courageous 3 1/2 month battle with Leukemia. Although she was ill, the disease did not touch her spirit. Her passing was unexpected but expected if that makes any sense. Lets just say, her Oncologist went to visit her the next day, only finding out she had passed during the night! 

this is how the conversation went:

"Macara, Dr. Menco".... pause....

"I came to see your mom..... what the hell happened?"

me:

"Dr. Menco, she passed last night..... I asked the nurses to contact you..."

"I guess you were not  notified"

"I don't think she wanted hospice"

yup...

I choose to believe her faith was so strong, she chose to go home. Not having the need to hold on, she was not frightened of what the afterlife would hold. Steve said it was her Irish goodbye. Not wanting to say her final farewells. I know I will see her again in the spirit world but until then I look for the signs she is here with me.

Mother's Day feels different this year. I know that with time, I hope to have it feel special again. This year, I will undoubtedly have some heavy-heartedness with her absence. I look forward to watching my boys and their cooking skills on overload.... trying to lift my spirits. 

For those of you who have moms that are living, appreciate and treasure the moments you have. As corny as it sounds, each day is a gift. For those of you whose club I have joined, my heart is wrapping around the idea right now.... cherish the memories, remember and share stories that make you laugh.

For all of you new to my blog, I would like for you to know it is just me, putting thoughts down. I don't blog about my health coaching or yoga here. It is about my life, my journey.

                  celebrating her 84th on March 30th


we took countless selfies on Christmas Eve, She just laughed because she never knew where to look!



This blog is dedicated to my mom, Terry Monroe. She lived an amazing 84 years. I want to share some of her favorite sayings:

Hidey-ho, Toodle-loo Dear Heart, May I make a suggestion..Don't borrow trouble, I'm not ready to go dancin and her hands down best....
 See ya around the campus kiddo...

the 9 books that transformed my life

9 books that transformed my life

I get asked by many people how can I be so positive with all that I have been through. How am I always able to see the bright side of most situations? What I can say is this, first, I am not always happy, I am human, just ask my boys I’m sure they have plenty of examples for you J Second, I have recognized through my own journey, life is just that a journey. We are here to learn from both the good and not so good. There are lessons all around if we take the time to look. I choose to see life as a gift, I think being widowed at 41 created this change in mindset.

I do understand that we are all on our own journeys. We have different paths. B.K.S Iyengar said it best in #5 on the list, “What most people want is the same. Most people want physical and mental health, understanding and wisdom and peace and freedom.

With those wise words, I give you my list. The books listed below have shaped and molded me into the person I am. It is my hope that a seed is planted.

1.    Conversations with God volume 1 , an uncommon dialogue, Neal Donald Walsch:

 I    interestingly enough, I bought this books years BEFORE (10 to be exact) I actually read it. This book intrigued me. It opened up wonderful conversations with mom (who had been a nun for 8 years but did not take her final vows). This book can be powerful if you are open. I read after Scott passed and was pretty raw. It was a powerful book for me. 

  2. Broken Open, Elizabeth Lesser:

Personally, it was a toss-up between 1 and 2. This book was suggested to me by a dear friend. It is filled with short stories of several people’s struggles. The common thread of being broken open. Being taken out at the knees, not knowing how to go on. For those that choose to phoenix from the ashes and live their "second life". Learning to take the lessons from their "first life" and help others. I have re-read this book many times, I use a different highlighter each time.... the pages have turned into quite a rainbow. 

3.  The 5 love languages (all versions are great, adults, teens, kids), Gary D.        Chapman:

Words of affirmation, Acts of Service, Receiving gifts, Quality Time, Physical touch….

I recognized that as I have gotten older, my love languages change….

This book brought clarity to my needs within my own relationships and also to my boys. 

      4.  The Four Agreements, Don Miguel Ruiz:

I believe everyone would benefit from reading. Four simple rules to live life. 

1^st) Be impeccable with your word  2^nd)Don’t take anything personally 3^rd) Don’t make assumptions 4^th) Always do your best….

     

 5. Light on Life, B.K.S. Iyengar:

One of my first yoga reading's. It reminded me of reading Proverbs in the Old Testament or a grandmother passing on wisdom. From Asana's to Ananda and everything between.  It is about an inward journey to enlightenment. Truly brilliant.

      6.   Yamas and Niyamas, Deborah Adele:

       Another yogi read. You will find many yoga studios will have classes reading this gem. It can be thought of as guidelines or golden nuggets of wisdom *that give direction to a well lived and joyful life*. Yamas- restraints, includes nonviolence, truthfulness, nonstealing, nonexcess and nonpossessiveness.  Niyamas- observerances, include purity, contentment, self-discipline, self-study and surrender. 

  

 7.  The Power of positive thinking, Dr. Norman Vincent Peale:

When thinking back, this was the first planted seed to 'the shift is the gift' thinking. It carries a message of faith and inspiration that has lasted the test of time. First published in 1952, it is as pertinent today as the day it was written. 

      8.  Living with Himalyan Masters, Swami Rama:

      Swami Rama takes you on his journey with stories of living with 5 different Himalayan masters. The stories are amazing, entertaining and enlightening. I think I devoured this book in a few days, the stories were that good. 

9. The Bible Promise Book:

It is a modified cliff note version of the Bible. One can look up easily for specific needs. Trust, Anger, Courage, Guidance. It is a quick reference for the reader to find biblical verses that directly relate to the topic of interest.

Wishing you health and happiness,

*Deborah Adele, Yamas and Niyamas

smack in the sandwich generation

Jan 14,2016

why hello 2016 ...

2015 was a huge transitional year for me. With the ups of moving into our new home the RNB, came  some downs, with my mom falling on Mother's Day. I chose not to  speak too much about my mom and her health on my social media because in all honesty people  visiting  my sites probably would rather not to hear about me feeling overwhelmed about my 83 year old mother's rising health issues. It is something I cope with privately.


SANDWICH GENERATION;
noun
a generation of people typically in their thirties or forties, responsible for bringing up their own children and for the care of their aging parents....

yup, that is me..

I am my mom's only girl and I am the baby of the family. I always felt that girls typically take on more of the caretaker role as their parents age. This is true for me. As I have written on many posts, I believe that everything that happens in life is for a reason.

Before I moved to MN, my physical therapy career had been at same clinic for 7 years where I has completed my first clinical rotation. When I moved to MN, I felt like I needed to explore different environments before commiting to a single facility. So, I decided to work PRN for outside registry, where I worked  in a wide variety of settings, acute care, ortho outpatients, TCU, SNF.

At the end of a year, I found myself working for an amazing company in Rochester MN. Majority of the caseload was TCU/SNF.

Why am I writing about this?

1) I learned that I really do enjoy treating the geriatric population. Strange huh? I know, it took me a bit by surprise as well. What I can tell you is this... Although they were not physically not as advanced, they could have medically complex cases. I learned  to look at the whole person not just the diagnosis. There is something quite powerful when you witness a  patient regain their independence. 2) I  recognized doctors not communicating with each other(right hand not talking to the left) for whatever the reason... and the patient being left in the middle.

My years in MN has brought me to where I stand today, my mom's wing man and advocate.

Since her fall, I have been diligent about keeping  all doctors in communication with each other about all blood work , test findings medication changes, etc.  

We went to her Oncology appointment  last Thursday (to discuss her Bone Marrow biopsy findings), I asked my best friend Tiffany to go, I wanted to have another set of ears listening in case my emotions inhibited  me from  hearing everything. I also had my brother on speaker phone , again, just in case, since I knew he would be asking me many questions.  It was simply easier and I believe a sound decision.

At  83 my mom was diagnosed  with CMML, a rare form of Leukaemia.

Chronic Myelomonocytic Leukaemia

There I wrote it.


Once we were given a definitive diagnosis, the doc said, "it sounds way worse than it is" I looked at him slightly puzzled. He was optimistic because her hemoglobin numbers were going up since stopping a certain medication for her Rheumatoid Arthritis.  It was suppressing her Bone Marrow production. So in the last 2 weeks, she feels better than she has in the past 4 months....


The next day, we went see her primary doc. The usual pleasantries were done, then she looked at  her chart.... She saw there was already a faxed dictation from her Oncologist from the day before. Her primary thanked me for the great job I have done creating this open dialogue with her doctors. She had never experienced such fluid communication.


Why am I writing a blog about this?

Well, I think it is a bit therapeutic for me in all honesty.It is my truth.You see the reality is that I try very hard to see where the lessons are in life. I look for the reasons, especially during shitty times. I realize that my years in MN were in preparation to help my mom . I trust God, even when it is difficult to see the forest through the trees. 

What I can tell you with 100% certainty is that my mom has  a positive attitude, strong faith and an amazingly strong constitution. We are at a place where we are in a holding pattern. No treatment plan, no cure. That's strangely ok and I am at peace.

I am a member of  the sandwich generation.  I will continue to make sound decisions for both my mom and my boys when given the opportunity. I am thankful to have been chosen to be her daughter and their mom. Although challenging at times, I am thankful for my tribe.

So if you follow my #daily3 pictures of appreciation, and see a post about my mom, you will understand. If you see a post with Steve, know he is my rock during difficult times. I am forever thankful for my life and my journey. 

Wishing you health and happiness,