True growth only happens outside your comfort zone

This is a mantra of mine. 

True growth only happens when you get outside of your comfort zone. 

Think about it for a second and let it sink in. I can tell you from experience this to be true for me in so many aspects of my life.  From exercising,wanting to stop short to moving from MN to CA and blending families. Growth doesn't happen until you step across that imaginary line you made for yourself.

At this moment in my life I am experiencing things outside my comfort zone almost daily. I try to get all yogi about it and say it is happening for a reason, blah, blah , blah. But what I am really needing to do is look at where the growth is needing to happen. 

I will give you an example of my oldest son Mitchell. He is a smart boy naturally, he is what I lovingly  refer to as 'absent minded professor"type. smart but lacks common sense at times. So here is his story...

At the end of last school year he spoke of how he wanted to take this AP human Geo class as a Freshman. I thought it was fantastic he was so interested in the class. I also know Mitchell. He is not so great with getting homework on a timely basis, and has been known historically to have to re-do homework multiple times because he has lost the papers.

That said, he is really wanting to go to summer school (Calabasas high)  so he could take the one class(HEALTH) that  he needed as prerequisite for Human Geo. I have never had a child go to summer school in CA, I didn't know what it entailed. I told him I needed to investigate further before I agreed.

Well, my gut was thinking it was too much. He wanted to take Chinese, AP and have water polo as a freshman. What on earth was he thinking? So instead of making the decision based on my feelings, I asked Steve's uncle and aunt who are both educators(principal and school district superintendent)

Both thought it was admirable that he wanted to take on so much, but thought it might be a tad too much for freshman year.  Phew! Ok, so my thought was then, Chinese has to go. With Mitchell on board, I was willing to write a fat check to have him attend 3 weeks of summer school . 

Fast forward to the first week of school. I get a text from Mitchell explaining briefly that he has to take another elective for whatever reason. Chinese was the only option that he found interesting.... CRAP, exactly what I didnt want him to take on his freshman year he was about to happen. 

So here we are at week 4 of school and he is struggling with the AP class homework. Hmm. Apparently 5 friends had already dropped out. I was digging deep to say the least. This was a lesson he needed to learn. I told him he was not dropping out.Period. He made the decision and he had to commit. I had to remind him his 'job', to get good grades. All social things that comes with school are low priority when are grades are effected.

He didn't like hearing what I had to say, but it didn't matter. God gave him to me to be his mother. To teach him  about making sound decision and consequences for actions. That life is not easy ,you cant  simply opt out if it gets too hard. 

That is what I call a come to Jesus moment in child rearing. 

 The rules were clear, when he came home, his phone was given to me and all his extra screen time activities were yanked. He needed to dig deep and take responsibility for the choices that he made. For the next two weeks, he did some serious catch up with his homework. I can say today is that I witnessed growth happen. I saw my son take responsibility for making choices based on ego not logic. He played a mean game of catch up and knows going forward he has a boat load of homework in AP class. Dugh, I told him that last summer, but he didn't believe me.


Growth isnt always pretty when you are in the thick of things. The rewards can be amazing if you decided to step outside that zone.

I challenge you to think about what imaginary lines you have drawn stopping you from achieving things in life? 

Wishing you all the best,
mac

 Oh on a side note, he is kicking ass and taking names in Chinese and had enough common sense to say no to his teacher when asking him to move up to Chinese 2 so he could be in Chinese 3 for Sophomore year....growth...

shhhh...

Today is brief, not to jinks things...

negotiations  have become ESCROW.....

crossing fingers, inspection on Friday

#fixerupper  

positive thoughts people.... positive thoughts..... 

updates soon....

guilty pleasures...

Monday's typically are my get'er done kinda days. I'm away from home so much during the week, this is the one day, I try to get most things done. Laundry, food prep for the week etc. Today, we had some serious laundry happening. I wish I could say, as soon as the dryer went off, clothes were folded immediately and put away (so not living in that pretend world Today's laundry extravaganza started off with 2 very large loads staring me down waiting to be folded...plus a load in the dryer that was done and a load in the wash that was waiting for the dryer .... you know the deal...

What I realize today is that when you are folding laundry, you are not really able to multi-task, except  for chatting on the phone or watching TV. When it was time to assume my folding position, I turned on the TV, taking a look as some of the shows that have been recorded. Hmmm..... what to watch..BRAVO, my go to channel,.Housewives,  yes, fully admit I watch some seriously bad TV  at times that might actually drop my IQ if I don't watch out!

I am here to admit that I know all the The Housewives, but my latest favorite  is Don't Be Tardy.... I find myself laughing out loud while I am the only one in the room....I digress, my topic today, guilty pleasures. As I was folding laundry, I started to think about other guilty pleasures I have... thought it would be an interesting  topic to blog about.

Guilty pleasures takes all forms. Here is my list, in no logical order, some are a bit more embarrassing than others, I welcome the laughs...

• The Housewives series, I do enjoy then all , thank you Andy Cohen.
• Don't be Tardy, thanks again Bravo 
• Life Below Zero
• Alaska, the last frontier
• mint chip ice cream from Baskin Robins (it will always be 31 flavors always in my mind)let me add, if I'm eating this, I know I am going to have a horrible belly ache and don't even care! since I've been daily free for years
• fat straw diet coke from Mc D's 

It's interesting to think about, what guilty pleasures do you have? Smile when you think of them, because at the end of the day, it's part of who you are! Never pass judgement, embrace them all! 

Would love to read anyone's who is willing.. maybe I'm missing one!

how buying a house works here

If you read my first post, you might recall my writing about selling Steve's house in 4 days with a 20 day escrow. Oh, all cash offer.... First off, who does that? Really...  We put the house on the market for showings right after July 4th weekend. Just to give you a timeline....

We had been actively watching the market in Agoura where the boys go to school for the past year. We had narrowed the location , the size  of the house we needed and what were absolute deal breakers ......

Today I am telling this crazy story of our house hunting months....

We found a house in Old Agoura, closer to the high school and a horse community. But if I said it was a FIXER that would be an understatement. It had and still has a hole in the roof /ceiling from a large tree branch falling on the roof... it had been a rental and not lived in for some time. Neglected to say the least. I am thankful that I have watched enough HGTV to know that you have to be able to see past the superficial ick and look at the bones of the house ...

So,  we wrote the first offer....then another, then another. we NEVER RECEIVED ONE RESPONSE! I kept thinking, if you don't like the offer, then say NO! OR, here is a counter offer.....  I wrote a letter to her, mother to mother, with the new school year quickly approaching and the boys not having a place to call home. The uncertainty of where we would move was starting to show, clearly she didn't care. So I was so mentally spent from her lack of common courtesy that I had to detach. I stopped caring ...

Understand the timeline... we moved into a short term rental thinking  this was the house....

Although we have been actively looking all along, we would always go back to that house, it really had everything we would ever need.

 Since we were not getting any type of response, I decided to take matters into my own hands,I started to investigate who owned this home. I found out many things via public records... let's just say, I was happy with my intel.  I called her Realtor, asked her why someone puts their home on the market and doesnt respond to offers blah, blah, blah....She apparently we are not the only people she is not responding! Others were holding out hope!   About 3 weeks ago we submitted last and final.... her Realtor even said she would be stupid not to take our offer.....history again repeated itself.... NOTHING....

I would say to Steve that I think it is a blessing in disguise, it wasn't supposed to be . I believe everything happens for a reason, I still don't understand the reason at the moment, but I put out  the energy into the universe my new mantra,"our perfect house if coming". I wasn't sure how it would manifest itself but that is what I did and said anytime I was asked about house hunting....

Fast forward to last week, Steve and I met up while the little boys were at football practice. He told me that he saw laborers at THE HOUSE... so we decided to take a walk and see what we could see...well let me tell ya.... some lady.. cruised up on a road bike just as we were walking past the house.. it was Martha, the infamous owner....

I was in shock and couldnt say anything , we just squeezed each others hands and kept walking. We briefly made eye contact, with me thinking yeah  B### do you remember us from the letter we sent? The family picture?

The entire conversations back to the field was about how I should go introduce myself and ask her why she never responded....

I drove back and Martha was gone....

But, I found out what she looks like.... not that I really cared....

Today, I'm driving to pick up the little boys at school and guess who I saw...


I kinda wanted to honk and have her tip over...

boys brains

First off, I don't know what it is like to raise girls. I think God gave me boys for a good reason.

Our house is in the full fledged puberty years... on varying levels ...For Lent a few years ago  I gave up yelling. I know can you believe it? My truth was it was the most challenging Lenten promise I ever made,(including no sips of wine.... ) what it made me realize is that if you are quiet you learn...so where on earth am I going with this?

I am watching how these boys pick and choose what is important to them, hair, bathing, clothing, socks, image... how different each of them are. What is considered important to one, is not even a second thought to the other.

I've always considered myself  a low/high maintenance kinda girl. I choose eating organic fruits and vegetables and buying a t-shirt at target. The same thing is happening when I observe the boys. I am watching them choose where they are high maintenance and where they are low. It is simply fascinating.

I wonder if others have thought of this concept? At the end of the day it becomes about balance and priorities. 


I believe that with age comes some amazing benefits of learning and experiencing life lessons. For example, I have some seriously thick hair. I have gone to less expensive hair salons in my younger years and gotten some really shitty hair cuts. No joke, I've even walked out with crooked bangs once! I've learned that I have no problems spending the time and money finding a hair stylist that knows what they are doing. That is where my high maintenance shines like a beacon....

I think for boys it maybe easier than my friends that have girls. At least on the clothing level, what they wear, brand names etc. I could be wrong. I know living in a suburb of  Los Angeles it is so far off from what I consider normal kid clothes.  Back in my early years, growing up in Stockton Ca, I wanted dittos and that yellow Sony Walkman...those were my high maintenance things.

Today, the boys have a completely different priorities. Starting middle school, SOCKS have been important, apparently it's a way to express their individuality.....I have to say, that since going into high school, socks are still important but not as high on the totem pole as they used to be...Mitchell in 11th is the boy who cares the least about his socks! Name brands in general have never been important to him. I believe that because he has bigger priorities in his life, he really places zero importance on his day to day clothes... thus his low maintenance side... 

I had huge struggle with Mitchell about bleaching his hair, for months during his freshman  year.... You see I was thinking from a girls perspective... If you bleach, that's hair commitment! What I finally realized is that if he hated it, he could shave it off! It's all about perspective....

At the end of the day, I am doing my best to raise boys that are well rounded, productive members of society. I want them to have good manners, say please and thank you and look you in the eyes, when having a conversation, not down on their phone. 


Being a mom is  the most challenging job I have ever been given. It is also the hands down the most rewarding. I sure hope that they will be able to look back one day with a smile about their younger years...and what their high/low maintence items were...

my first blog from 2014.... let me introduce myself...

Welcome, here is a little about me...


Hard to believe that I am just getting started on this blogging thing.... I've been told by many many people  that I should write a book. The ups the downs and all the stuff in between I  call my life.

So here I am . Today,  Monday Sept 29, 2014. The house is quiet, the must-do, green juice made, quiche out of the oven... morning list is complete and the space has been open...

My name is Macara Monroe Brachmann. I'm 44 years old and I have lived quite a life to date. It has been a life of being married to a Navy Seal, having 2 awesome boys.Living within a community which everyone was equals.... until retirement and we moved to MN....

I believe I said I received the crazy wife award for moving from Coronado CA to Northfield MN. What I can tell you is this. I learned more about myself in the 8 years I lived in Northfield than I could have ever imagined.

I want to give you a taste not an all you can eat version, so here it goes...

in 19 years I have received phone calls in the middle of the night saying , he's alive, I can't tell you anything else...

thought once he retired, life would find some type of "normal", NOT.....he went into contract work... gone more than when he was in the teams....

I always had to have a certain amount of detachment because of his line of work......

I never in a million years thought he would die, naked in the shower shaving....

Yes, Widowed at 41.

This is not a blog entry for the start of a sob story, but an entry for understanding where I came from and whom I have become when you read.

I'm not going to go into detail about managing the aftermath. I am not going to go into detail of the painful process of helping my boys through the devastation of him dropping dead and finding him in the shower. I am not going to go into detail about the crazy shit that goes through your mind while you process the death of a spouse.

What I am going to blog about is my life and how with rain, comes  rainbows and how the sun will always come again.... I listened to Andy Grammer's Gotta keep your head up, constantly as my go to song, The music would be blasting so loud, my boys and I would sing at the top of our lungs.... music therapy.... thank you Andy Grammer....

so here is where I am.... in the rainbow... I fell in love with an amazing man whom I have known since 7th grade. I know crazy huh? he knew me back when I seriously looked like Danny Partridge... no joke...

Steve had been widowed 3 years prior ,  with a son,(3 months younger than my youngest).... he was my pen pal, my ally, my olive branch... as it worked out... with whom my soul loves....I feel very blessed to have found love again. .I would have never guessed in a million years I would be where I am today. I trusted the process and wa-la we have a house full of boys and on this journey together.....

So here is the start of my story.... it is my hope that something here will peak your interest. I'm kinda funny , I'm not going to be grammatically correct all the time and will probably use a run on sentence or two along the way.What I want to mention is that we all have a gift. Andy Grammer's gift helped me. So I in turn will use this blog to speak of some valuable life lessons and gifts I have been given and would like to pass on...


At the end of the day, I hope you find enjoyment from this blog and want to return to see what the hell happens around my neck of the woods. How I try to maintain balance  while raising  3 boys, 1 special man friend , 2 dogs in a cozy bungalow in Reseda while the rest of our lives are in Agoura.... oh that's a whole other entry... how a house sells in 4 days, all cash 20 day escrow.... good times...

wishing you all the best,
Mac