apparently I am more traditional than I thought

I wrote this original blog in 2014.
I read it today and decided to repost for any who might not have read the first time around.

Many things have changed, yet many remain the same. 

As I have grown and learned so much as a mom of highschool boys. The lessons have been a mix of laughable, painful but most of all memorable. I'm sure that there is plenty more in store, I'm just gonna get in the lazy river as best as I can and roll with whatever comes :)


Many of you might be able to relate.

I have been tossing around a few ideas to write about this week. I kept coming back to one general topic. Homecoming,traditions and emotions.

What I am realizing is that as a 46 year old woman and mother, I appreciate some of the traditions and chivalry that I had grown up with.  I want to clarify some thoughts before I go further. First, I understand the circle of life. I understand that my boys are going to grow up and experience what life has to offer. This includes girlfriends, lovers and wives.  Secondly, I also know that as a mother I am here on this earth to guide and teach them to be decent productive members of society.To borrow my 84 year old mom saying, "to launch them". To teach them about having a  solid moral compass and demonstrate respect for women.

 I have always told my boys to be kind to girls. I explained that as boys become interested in girls, they start doing things to gain the attention of these girls. Boys in general want ANY attention girls will give them be it positive or negative.

 Typically, girls will remember the negative before they remember the positive.It is just the way the brain is wired.  I always use Phil L. from 6th grade snapping my bra strap as my example. He probably was really nice to me but I will always think of the bra snapping incident first.

With that being said. I feel as though I had planted enough seeds about respect into Mitchell to be ready for homecoming. I also know that I have the fear of God in him about taking pictures that could haunt him later in life. That is a whole other blog entry. I am thankful I grew up before the internet ..... lets just say that....

In the days leading up to Homecoming, I was experiencing similar feelings to when he was getting on the bus the first day of  middle school. He was going to come back a different boy. Some change was going to happen, one step further away from innocence.

  Last Saturday Mitchell and I were in Santa Barbara at a water polo tournament for the day. We had time to discuss the idea of him going up to her door and meeting her father, shaking his hand firmly(just as my dad said should be done) and looking him in the eye. He was ready.

The texting began in the car ride home, she did not want him to come to the door. She didn't want him to meet her father. As a mom, it made my heart sink just a bit. I have to be honest. I wanted  him to have that quintessential first date experience of meeting the parents, corsage , photos, dance..... clearly that was not happening...

We were able to get a few photos at the school before they were off into the sea of teenagers and loud music. My heart was a bit sad. Although I was happy for him, I knew he was going to get back into the car a different boy... Steve laughed and said how he was happy to see that Mitch had 'game'.  I was a bit sick to my stomach and needed a glass of wine.

Steve posted on Facebook that he wanted to go full 'Damone' in the car  while chauffeuring but played Physical Graffiti with a huge smile on his face....Maybe this is just a mom thing I was thinking.... What I didn't mention was the fact that 2 weeks earlier at the dinner table, Mitchell announced that he was planning on having his first kiss on Homecoming.... yup....it happened.


Now that a few days have passed. I am able to think about my sweet boy turning into a young man. I finally asked if he went 'full soap opera kiss'( you know what I mean,very dramatic) for the first time... he said no, it was a bit more awkward than he anticipated. It was a brief  but meaningful exchange. The joking started pretty quickly,when Mitchell said ,' well, by the 23rd time' .....

Today as I am typing my thoughts for this blog. I am thankful that Mitchell is growing into an amazing young man. That he felt comfortable enough telling us us what his plans were, although it caught us all off guard that night at the kitchen table. I must acknowledge that we are doing something right with this parenting gig.

I know Mitchell is just the tip of our iceberg, we have two more in the wings waiting patiently for their turn. I am thankful for being able to witness these boys staking small  steps forward shedding their innocence. I know I am not the first, plenty of mom's before me have experienced this same feeling. Here is to enjoying the high school years..

.

Getting in the lazy river

My original post from 2014...

Many things have changed since I originally wrote this post, but what remains the same is my belief system. I do believe that everything happens for a reason and getting in the lazy river is a perfect analogy some days...


Have you heard of the lazy river?

I'd like to tell you a funny story of the lazy river becoming a great analogy. For my 40th birthday, my two best girlfriends and I went to the Bahamas. We stayed at a very shwanky hotel that is part of The Atlantis. The story I am going to tell  needs a disclaimer, many vodka tonics were consumed before and after this adventure, after all it was my 40th birthday.

We made the  decision to  float in the lazy river, sounded like a a great idea...

 Once we settled into these giant tubes, the feeling of allowing the current to navigate you was very enjoyable. That was until the lazy river turned into  roaring rapids!.... I look over and see Tiffany who is 6 feet tall getting thrashed around, then, FLIP OVER! she acted as though she was going to drown! All Cindy and I could manage to say was "stand up, stand up!" laughing hysterically.The water was maybe 3-4 feet deep at best.

 As I think about this story today, it still makes me  laugh at how dramatic she was! She was pissed her eye lashes were coming off and she lost an earring! All Cindy and I could do was belly laugh. I'm thankful I was able to get a few pictures...

Tiffany was pissed that Cindy and I were not taking the pounding like she was. We kept saying 'go with the flow', don't fight the current! She ended up with scrapes on her elbows and knees from the ride.oh, and lashes were gone....

This morning I listened to a post a dear friend put on Facebook of  the Leo King , an astrologer.  He was speaking about a huge  energy shift happening , how the heavens are making the shift to right the wrongs,or something to that effect. Lots more astrology lingo that I really didn't understand  about planets/energy etc. What I took away from this video was that this week was going to get nuts, and just to hold on tight while the extreme energy makes the shift.The goal of keeping inner peace while everything else feels very off. It was interesting video to watch while I was sipping on my coffee waiting  for the caffeine to kick in... I went on with starting my day, taking the boys to school.

Have you ever had those days, when things don't seem to go as planned, or even better, nothing is easy?  You feel like a salmon swimming upstream.These are the days, I tell myself to get into the lazy river.... This week is showing itself  (I know it is only Tues night) to be a lazy river kinda week. My days are typically scheduled, without much wiggle room.  That is until days like this happen and all I can do is laugh and be thankful I have a good sense of humor about how my day unfolds. I will just say without going into detail, that my day was nothing like  I had planned. I might also add, that not nearly as much was accomplished but plenty of energy was used trying.

I am a believer in Karma. The boys asked the other night why I don't honk at people that cut in front of me while I'm driving.  I even go as far as to wish them  a good day. The boys think I'm weird.I told them it isn't worth honking unless it could have caused an accident. They didn't understand... Then the teachings of Karma showed itself.... the car that had cut me off, got stuck and I continued moving forward and without any red lights while they were stuck in the thick of traffic far behind. I explained to the boys that was Karma in action. They thought it was luck and coincidence, I begged to differ.

So as I look at my schedule for tomorrow, I know there will be changes that will happen. I am aware that I must get in the lazy river and go with the flow. I know what comes before me is there for a reason. I simply must continue to have a good attitude and keep smiling.  

Life is about perspective...

Tiffany thought she was drowning  but at 6 feet tall, all she needed to do was stand up in the 3 feet of water.......

When life gets overwhelming, try getting in the lazy river friends...
have peace in knowing you are exactly where you are supposed to be. 

 all the best, mac

homecoming to freshman boy? = no planning

Homecoming is next weekend. Mitchell has asked a girl and she has said yes. We have been hearing from other boys about their crazy ways of asking girls to homecoming. I give these boys credit but I'm thinking, wow, they are  setting the bar high for the rest of their high school years!

My Mitchell didn't go for any of the hoopla, he went right up and looked into her eyes and asked. He did say he was yelling a bit because he was so nervous.... 

So why the blog you ask? Well, as some of you know, Mitchell is my absent minded professor. He is so in the moment,  he hasn't thought about the next phase, planning. I explained to him that he needs some information. Basics..

• is he going with a group of friends, if so, who?
• how is he getting to the dance? are we driving?
• what color is Sofia wearing so he can coordinate and buy a corsage

I have seen so many photos of friends sharing their kiddos homecoming pictures. Love them and got me thinking, Mitchell what your plan?.... in his 14 year old head he hasn't even thought of these questions.

... I told him jokingly that the school asked for volunteers, the theme this year is "Galaxy" thought Steve and I could have a great time with that one. I told him I could get some Princess Leia hair, Steve could be Obi-Wan Kenobi and have a great time at the coat check in... he was not a fan of that idea....

Starting in Middle school, there have been meetings with the educators discussing the idea allowing kids to take responsibility, decrease the 'helicopter parent' mentality.  I am a firm believer in allowing them to fly, with a net underneath just in case. As far as Homecoming goes, I would say let him figure it out, but I feel a bit bad for Sofia if he didn't have at least minimal  things in place. 

It is so interesting to witness how each boy has such different brains. Jack is my planner, he is packed 2 weeks before we go on a trip. He was dressed for his Bar Mitzvah 3 hours before he had to leave. Mitchell, well, planning is not his strongest attribute at the moment. I cross my fingers that as his frontal lobe matures certain things , like planning, executive function type activities become more second nature...

This next week should be interesting to see how this unfolds. The family truckster will be cleaned and ready to go just in case..... Maybe I could find a chauffeur hat.....

Wednesday, woke up with a grateful heart

Admittedly, these last few days have been a bit of a blur between tears. I woke up this morning with a grateful heart, not sure why. I looked outside the front windows and saw this amazing light on the trees. I then remembered, God is always in control. Trust and look for him, he is always there.

What I have always said is that MN has different beauty than CA. This was an MN sun/light/dark clouds moment happening outside our cozy bungalow.

 I appreciate all the kind words and messages that have been sent over the last couple of days. Please know I have read them all.  I have been processing the grief and allowing the feeling to be. My friend Dee wrote a message that really hit home, made me cry instantly. It made me recognize yet again, how amazing the people you have in your life really are. Even in the darkest times there are silver linings.These silver linings come in so many different forms, when you begin to open up and allow yourself to view things from a different mind set, you can see them clearly.

I received this in the mail yesterday from Robin Rogers and let me tell you, it made my day. Here is the beautiful part about the whole thing, she had probably mailed this before anything had happened, yet I received this exactly when I needed it the most, last night.

I go back to my original blog and using my favorite Andy Grammer song, Keep your head up. It really is true, Only rainbows after rain, the sun will always come again.

So today, I am seeing the 'rainbows' so if you follow my Bliss with Mac on  Instagram or Facebook accounts, please know you might be seeing not only my daily 3 of gratitude, there might be more pictures of my 'rainbows'

Wishing you all the shift to see your own 'rainbows' today

Peace,
mac

Where to begin this blog

Yesterday I lost a dear friend. Her name was Coco Bella, she  was our 6 year old chocolate lab. She was never a very healthy dog, Addison's, hypothyroid, seizures, hip dysplasia. But, at the end of the day, she brought light and love into my heart every single day. She chose yesterday to simply go underneath our couch and move to the other side of the rainbow.

In all honesty, I was a hot mess yesterday.It was a bit surreal. Anyone who has lost a family animal member knows what we are going through.  I'm still trying to get used to not having her here. My heart aches for our other pup Finn who keeps looking around for her. He is on heightened alert, checking on the boys frequently.

The boys are going through their own grieving process. I know logically with time, the pain subsides. I also know and tell others, that when feelings like these occur, to think of them as house guests that you really don't want to stay. Be kind, knowing in the back of your head they are not staying forever.So I am doing as I remind others of, allowing the feeling to come and know they will be staying for only a short time like an unwelcome house guest.

So today is a new day, a day of transition. The boys had the day off school so sleeping was high on the priority level. I decided that today was a great day to juice up some tasty green drink. A cleansing of sorts. I figure I was clearing my emotions out ,I might as well do some internal cleansing as well.




I have found that some juicing recipes are really heavy on the fruit thus sugar. This particular favorite of mine has: kale, spinach,romaine celery, Meyer Lemons (if available) and apples.

So today, as I am wrapping my head around the fact that my coco bella isn't among us, I know she is a happy pup swimming and running around on the other side of the rainbow. I believe that Dr. Seuss said it best

Thank you Coco Bella for choosing us 6 years ago. You will be missed .

True growth only happens outside your comfort zone

This is a mantra of mine. 

True growth only happens when you get outside of your comfort zone. 

Think about it for a second and let it sink in. I can tell you from experience this to be true for me in so many aspects of my life.  From exercising,wanting to stop short to moving from MN to CA and blending families. Growth doesn't happen until you step across that imaginary line you made for yourself.

At this moment in my life I am experiencing things outside my comfort zone almost daily. I try to get all yogi about it and say it is happening for a reason, blah, blah , blah. But what I am really needing to do is look at where the growth is needing to happen. 

I will give you an example of my oldest son Mitchell. He is a smart boy naturally, he is what I lovingly  refer to as 'absent minded professor"type. smart but lacks common sense at times. So here is his story...

At the end of last school year he spoke of how he wanted to take this AP human Geo class as a Freshman. I thought it was fantastic he was so interested in the class. I also know Mitchell. He is not so great with getting homework on a timely basis, and has been known historically to have to re-do homework multiple times because he has lost the papers.

That said, he is really wanting to go to summer school (Calabasas high)  so he could take the one class(HEALTH) that  he needed as prerequisite for Human Geo. I have never had a child go to summer school in CA, I didn't know what it entailed. I told him I needed to investigate further before I agreed.

Well, my gut was thinking it was too much. He wanted to take Chinese, AP and have water polo as a freshman. What on earth was he thinking? So instead of making the decision based on my feelings, I asked Steve's uncle and aunt who are both educators(principal and school district superintendent)

Both thought it was admirable that he wanted to take on so much, but thought it might be a tad too much for freshman year.  Phew! Ok, so my thought was then, Chinese has to go. With Mitchell on board, I was willing to write a fat check to have him attend 3 weeks of summer school . 

Fast forward to the first week of school. I get a text from Mitchell explaining briefly that he has to take another elective for whatever reason. Chinese was the only option that he found interesting.... CRAP, exactly what I didnt want him to take on his freshman year he was about to happen. 

So here we are at week 4 of school and he is struggling with the AP class homework. Hmm. Apparently 5 friends had already dropped out. I was digging deep to say the least. This was a lesson he needed to learn. I told him he was not dropping out.Period. He made the decision and he had to commit. I had to remind him his 'job', to get good grades. All social things that comes with school are low priority when are grades are effected.

He didn't like hearing what I had to say, but it didn't matter. God gave him to me to be his mother. To teach him  about making sound decision and consequences for actions. That life is not easy ,you cant  simply opt out if it gets too hard. 

That is what I call a come to Jesus moment in child rearing. 

 The rules were clear, when he came home, his phone was given to me and all his extra screen time activities were yanked. He needed to dig deep and take responsibility for the choices that he made. For the next two weeks, he did some serious catch up with his homework. I can say today is that I witnessed growth happen. I saw my son take responsibility for making choices based on ego not logic. He played a mean game of catch up and knows going forward he has a boat load of homework in AP class. Dugh, I told him that last summer, but he didn't believe me.


Growth isnt always pretty when you are in the thick of things. The rewards can be amazing if you decided to step outside that zone.

I challenge you to think about what imaginary lines you have drawn stopping you from achieving things in life? 

Wishing you all the best,
mac

 Oh on a side note, he is kicking ass and taking names in Chinese and had enough common sense to say no to his teacher when asking him to move up to Chinese 2 so he could be in Chinese 3 for Sophomore year....growth...

shhhh...

Today is brief, not to jinks things...

negotiations  have become ESCROW.....

crossing fingers, inspection on Friday

#fixerupper  

positive thoughts people.... positive thoughts..... 

updates soon....

guilty pleasures...

Monday's typically are my get'er done kinda days. I'm away from home so much during the week, this is the one day, I try to get most things done. Laundry, food prep for the week etc. Today, we had some serious laundry happening. I wish I could say, as soon as the dryer went off, clothes were folded immediately and put away (so not living in that pretend world Today's laundry extravaganza started off with 2 very large loads staring me down waiting to be folded...plus a load in the dryer that was done and a load in the wash that was waiting for the dryer .... you know the deal...

What I realize today is that when you are folding laundry, you are not really able to multi-task, except  for chatting on the phone or watching TV. When it was time to assume my folding position, I turned on the TV, taking a look as some of the shows that have been recorded. Hmmm..... what to watch..BRAVO, my go to channel,.Housewives,  yes, fully admit I watch some seriously bad TV  at times that might actually drop my IQ if I don't watch out!

I am here to admit that I know all the The Housewives, but my latest favorite  is Don't Be Tardy.... I find myself laughing out loud while I am the only one in the room....I digress, my topic today, guilty pleasures. As I was folding laundry, I started to think about other guilty pleasures I have... thought it would be an interesting  topic to blog about.

Guilty pleasures takes all forms. Here is my list, in no logical order, some are a bit more embarrassing than others, I welcome the laughs...

• The Housewives series, I do enjoy then all , thank you Andy Cohen.
• Don't be Tardy, thanks again Bravo 
• Life Below Zero
• Alaska, the last frontier
• mint chip ice cream from Baskin Robins (it will always be 31 flavors always in my mind)let me add, if I'm eating this, I know I am going to have a horrible belly ache and don't even care! since I've been daily free for years
• fat straw diet coke from Mc D's 

It's interesting to think about, what guilty pleasures do you have? Smile when you think of them, because at the end of the day, it's part of who you are! Never pass judgement, embrace them all! 

Would love to read anyone's who is willing.. maybe I'm missing one!

how buying a house works here

If you read my first post, you might recall my writing about selling Steve's house in 4 days with a 20 day escrow. Oh, all cash offer.... First off, who does that? Really...  We put the house on the market for showings right after July 4th weekend. Just to give you a timeline....

We had been actively watching the market in Agoura where the boys go to school for the past year. We had narrowed the location , the size  of the house we needed and what were absolute deal breakers ......

Today I am telling this crazy story of our house hunting months....

We found a house in Old Agoura, closer to the high school and a horse community. But if I said it was a FIXER that would be an understatement. It had and still has a hole in the roof /ceiling from a large tree branch falling on the roof... it had been a rental and not lived in for some time. Neglected to say the least. I am thankful that I have watched enough HGTV to know that you have to be able to see past the superficial ick and look at the bones of the house ...

So,  we wrote the first offer....then another, then another. we NEVER RECEIVED ONE RESPONSE! I kept thinking, if you don't like the offer, then say NO! OR, here is a counter offer.....  I wrote a letter to her, mother to mother, with the new school year quickly approaching and the boys not having a place to call home. The uncertainty of where we would move was starting to show, clearly she didn't care. So I was so mentally spent from her lack of common courtesy that I had to detach. I stopped caring ...

Understand the timeline... we moved into a short term rental thinking  this was the house....

Although we have been actively looking all along, we would always go back to that house, it really had everything we would ever need.

 Since we were not getting any type of response, I decided to take matters into my own hands,I started to investigate who owned this home. I found out many things via public records... let's just say, I was happy with my intel.  I called her Realtor, asked her why someone puts their home on the market and doesnt respond to offers blah, blah, blah....She apparently we are not the only people she is not responding! Others were holding out hope!   About 3 weeks ago we submitted last and final.... her Realtor even said she would be stupid not to take our offer.....history again repeated itself.... NOTHING....

I would say to Steve that I think it is a blessing in disguise, it wasn't supposed to be . I believe everything happens for a reason, I still don't understand the reason at the moment, but I put out  the energy into the universe my new mantra,"our perfect house if coming". I wasn't sure how it would manifest itself but that is what I did and said anytime I was asked about house hunting....

Fast forward to last week, Steve and I met up while the little boys were at football practice. He told me that he saw laborers at THE HOUSE... so we decided to take a walk and see what we could see...well let me tell ya.... some lady.. cruised up on a road bike just as we were walking past the house.. it was Martha, the infamous owner....

I was in shock and couldnt say anything , we just squeezed each others hands and kept walking. We briefly made eye contact, with me thinking yeah  B### do you remember us from the letter we sent? The family picture?

The entire conversations back to the field was about how I should go introduce myself and ask her why she never responded....

I drove back and Martha was gone....

But, I found out what she looks like.... not that I really cared....

Today, I'm driving to pick up the little boys at school and guess who I saw...


I kinda wanted to honk and have her tip over...

boys brains

First off, I don't know what it is like to raise girls. I think God gave me boys for a good reason.

Our house is in the full fledged puberty years... on varying levels ...For Lent a few years ago  I gave up yelling. I know can you believe it? My truth was it was the most challenging Lenten promise I ever made,(including no sips of wine.... ) what it made me realize is that if you are quiet you learn...so where on earth am I going with this?

I am watching how these boys pick and choose what is important to them, hair, bathing, clothing, socks, image... how different each of them are. What is considered important to one, is not even a second thought to the other.

I've always considered myself  a low/high maintenance kinda girl. I choose eating organic fruits and vegetables and buying a t-shirt at target. The same thing is happening when I observe the boys. I am watching them choose where they are high maintenance and where they are low. It is simply fascinating.

I wonder if others have thought of this concept? At the end of the day it becomes about balance and priorities. 


I believe that with age comes some amazing benefits of learning and experiencing life lessons. For example, I have some seriously thick hair. I have gone to less expensive hair salons in my younger years and gotten some really shitty hair cuts. No joke, I've even walked out with crooked bangs once! I've learned that I have no problems spending the time and money finding a hair stylist that knows what they are doing. That is where my high maintenance shines like a beacon....

I think for boys it maybe easier than my friends that have girls. At least on the clothing level, what they wear, brand names etc. I could be wrong. I know living in a suburb of  Los Angeles it is so far off from what I consider normal kid clothes.  Back in my early years, growing up in Stockton Ca, I wanted dittos and that yellow Sony Walkman...those were my high maintenance things.

Today, the boys have a completely different priorities. Starting middle school, SOCKS have been important, apparently it's a way to express their individuality.....I have to say, that since going into high school, socks are still important but not as high on the totem pole as they used to be...Mitchell in 11th is the boy who cares the least about his socks! Name brands in general have never been important to him. I believe that because he has bigger priorities in his life, he really places zero importance on his day to day clothes... thus his low maintenance side... 

I had huge struggle with Mitchell about bleaching his hair, for months during his freshman  year.... You see I was thinking from a girls perspective... If you bleach, that's hair commitment! What I finally realized is that if he hated it, he could shave it off! It's all about perspective....

At the end of the day, I am doing my best to raise boys that are well rounded, productive members of society. I want them to have good manners, say please and thank you and look you in the eyes, when having a conversation, not down on their phone. 


Being a mom is  the most challenging job I have ever been given. It is also the hands down the most rewarding. I sure hope that they will be able to look back one day with a smile about their younger years...and what their high/low maintence items were...