Quick post, Happy New Years

As 2014 comes to a close, I wanted to personally thank every single person that has chosen to read this blog and began supporting  Bliss with Mac my inaugural  year.

I am humbled by the support. It was my intention starting this blog for people to get to know who I am. I wanted to share with readers, so that readers would have a better understanding of the kind of person I am. It is my hope that you feel as you read this blog, I become like an old friend.

I have not yet blogged about health or wellness, that was not the initial intention of this blog. I'm not quite sure where this blog will take me in the next year  but I am looking forward to sharing pieces of my life with you.

It is my hope you enjoy coming back and reading whats going on in my little part of this world.

I'm wishing you health and happiness for 2015

All the best,

a very personal entry, Merry Christmas

I was not sure I wanted to blog about something so personal.  I spent some time in prayer and quiet hoping clarity would come. It did.

I would like to write a bit about something that I have experienced . Some that know me, know the story in which I am about to tell.

Scott passed away on December 12, 2011. Our lives turned upside down. I made all decisions based on my gut. I was not able to truly openly grieve without my boys being around until my mom's 80th birthday in March 2012.

 We were in Sonoma at the Carneros Inn celebrating my moms birthday during the boys spring break. My gut was telling me, I needed quiet time with nature and to sweat.  I have a special trail I have taken over the years through the vineyards. To say it is peaceful and grounding is an understatement, I feel as though I return home when I put my feet on this particular trail.

That run truly transformed me. Not the run per say, but what I heard. You see up until that week, I had not even thought about reading a book about grief. Not quite sure why, just hadn't been a thought. I think I had been to overwhelmed trying to keep my head above water to think about reading.

Well, this is what I will tell you. I ran, and admittedly I was a hot mess. Tears were streaming down my cheeks, snot running down my face, I was a mess.  I knew the emotions needed to surface. I was told once by a dear friend Amy E,  to allow the emotions to come like a house guest you don't want to stay at your house. Accept the emotions to surface, knowing they will not be staying forever.

Accept I did and lets just say,oh my.

So as I was running, there was a crow that I swear that it was following me. I started thinking to myself that it was Scott's spirit. I then began using logic, thinking maybe I might be nuts. Right then and there I knew that I needed to order a book or two on grief. I was clearly ready for the next step. I found out that seeing spirits in animals in completely normal, phew.

As some of you that have read my blog know, Andy Grammer was my go-to artist during the initial months following Scott's passing. Sometimes,I enjoy putting my playlist on shuffle and see what would play, looking for a sign of some type. I know this sounds odd to some, but it is bizarre how a certain song will play at exactly the right moment, complete serendipity.

Then it happened.

 I heard him, not out loud, but in my head, clear as day. I cant quite describe it any other way. This is what I heard:

"Mac, it has to be this way, trust me"

He kept repeating this.

I cant tell you know how many times I heard this during that run.It was a bit like a Long Island Medium moment. I cant explain how clear as day it sounded. I heard his voice down into my bones. I came back to the house, I had  experienced an awakening or sorts.  I made the decision that I was going to focus my attention inward. I was going to focus  my energy on supporting and raising our boys and making me the best Macara that I could be.
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Widowed at 41.

Those that know me know that I am not a victim. I don't identify with that word. I have experienced a pity party or two in my years. But, they are short lived. What I can tell you is that I was going to prioritize. I knew that I would find another man at some point. I was only 40, but my focus was this, after 19 years with Scott Brachmann, I needed to figure out who Macara was, without Scott.

So that is exactly what I did. I retreated and kept to my little family. I did my work. I found myself.

Fast forward to summer of 2012.

Steve and I had began long distance dating. One of his trips to MN we went to La-la palooza in Chicago. By the time we arrived , we needed a bit of a nap since most activities happen late into the night. We had decided to drive, ugh the traffic from MN was not so great. So we napped to recharge for the night's festivities. (fyi, take the plane from MN to Chicago, worth every penny)

What I am about to write is still boggles my mind..

Do you know what it feels like when you are lying in the sun with your eyes closed? You know how you see light? It is an orange color through your eyelids?  Well, I had that. Along with the light I heard three chimes/bells. Once, twice, three times, waking my conscious up, I was still asleep but was somehow feeling awake . I heard this:

"Mac, this is why it had to be"

My eyes opened and I thought holy shit. I laid there quietly trying to process what had just happened. I wasn't sure if I should tell Steve, I was a bit worried he was going to think I was crazy, hearing my dead husband while I was sleeping next to him.

I decided to tell him.

I did return to MN and spoke with my Pastor. I explained what I experienced and this was his amazing response,"Well Macara, it sounds like you got confirmation and closure". I was speechless trying to stay strong but I found myself crying by the time I got in the car after church.

I thought about those words, confirmation and closure. Powerful.

Confirmation that he had crossed over to the other side. Closure, with knowing the reason why he left this Earth.

You see, Scott was a strong man. He was a larger than life character who the boys and I shared with the world. With him working overseas, he became hardened. He admitted finally that he had suffered from the effects of being a war zone for too long, the scarlet letters of PTSD. He knew that with all that he had seen and done in his career he was not the same man that he used to be. This translated onto our family.

Fast forward to  Fall 2013.

 Through my studies at Institute for Integrative Nutrition, I met my friend Catherine . I know that people are brought  into your life for a reason. Catherine ( a Theata healer) is my Long Island Medium. After our health history's were complete, she asked if I had any questions for her... Hmm, I thought, ...should I?

 I asked about Scott. She said this, you know Macara, he watches over many in this world. He knows you are cared for and in a good place. I thought, ok, that's kinda strange. Not even like a hello from the other side huh? Especially when I speaking with someone who can hear spirits clearly. In truth, I felt a little jipped.

My life continued moving forward, we prepared Steve's home to be placed on the market, the house sold quickly and we had to move into a rental. We finally found our new home and it is  currently being remodeled before we move in.

December 12, 2014, the third anniversary of his passing came. It was my intention
 to pick up the boys from school and take them to sushi. It has become our tradition.

 I'm not quite sure how this happened, but it was serendipity at its finest, music was on shuffle,  Kiss you slow by Andy Grammer came on. I  love this song, The words meant something different on that day.

 Dec 12th was a rainy day here in southern California. The moment, the song began to play, the sun broke through and shined rays of light. I was singing loudly like I do when I am by myself in the car.... I felt this overwhelming sense of peace and love. I not sure how else to  explain it in words. After I felt this, I immediately began to sob.

I was speechless.. I wasn't sure what had just happened. I tried to use logic. Was it emotions that had needed to be released? Having an emotional moment?

Here I was driving on the 101 to pick up the boys up from school. I had to get it together before I picked them up I thought.

I didn't speak of what happened. In truth, I didn't know what had happened. I did send a short email to Catherine explaining the moment that I experienced.She gave me confirmation, yes it was Scott, adding that the love always remains strong and he is very proud of me.  Whoa.

Why am I writing about something so personal?

I want us to remember why we celebrate Christmas. Although the gifts under the tree bring excitment and are  fun to open, it's goes far deeper than that for me this Christmas.I want us to think about the ultimate gift we have been given since birth. I want us to remember those loved ones we have lost, and that their spirits continue to live on. Just not on this physical realm. Its the greatest gift.


While enjoying Christmas this season, take a moment to think of those that have crossed over to the other side. They have been given the ultimate gift of eternal life.

 So the next time you see a rainbow, or feel a certain something, open your mind and your hearts to the idea that your loved one is close and bringing you a sign from the other side.


It is my hope that you enjoy a Christmas full of love,laughter and spending time with family and friends. Maybe making a few great memories along the way.


Merry Christmas,

bucket list

 A Bucket list, do you have one?

I started mine several years ago upon my friend Cindy's urging. Some things might seem a bit silly and shallow to some but that is why it is a very personal list. Over the years, I have been able to cross several off , while adding new ones along the way.

Why am I writing about this you might ask. Well, a biggie on my list is completing a triathlon. You see after completing two marathons, I am over that one, was able to check that one off my list forever. Training for a tri has been in my mind and on my list for 5 years. Well, the one I signed up for specifically, the Super Seal in Coronado, Ca. My old stomping grounds.

Living with MN weather is challenging. Especially when it starts to get cold. The Super Seal tri is in March. The effort it was going to take  to figure out how to get training in(not simple in anyway to bike, run and swim when it is below zero butt ass cold) was mind numbing. I recognized it was simply not in the cards for me at the time.  Well, at least that was my excuse. I know that when there is a will there is a way . Clearly the will was not strong enough at the time to figure out how to make it work.

Now, I believe that I was not supposed to have participated until now. It wasn't the right time for me. Last year, once the boys and I had made the big move I thought ok, NOW I am going to sign up! Well, you see the big guy upstairs apparently didn't think so.

Here is a quick story of what happened:

I was vacuuming and get this,I was not paying attention and  kicked(stepped forcefully toward) the fireplace.NO JOKE! Have you ever experienced something happening and you know INSTANTLY it bad?  I knew something was seriously wrong as soon as contact was made. I immediately iced/elevated and took a handful of anti-inflammatory's and tried not to cry in front of the boys. After all, who hurts themselves vacuuming?

 I walked around for about a week and Steve finally made a comment that I will never forget.."How long did you walk around with a broken back before you went to the doctor?" my reply.."6 weeks" his reply," are you going to wait that long this time?"

I made an appointment for next day. x-ray, was negative. See I thought... Well, 2 weeks later and it wasn't any better. To make a long story short, I did break my second toe with confirmation from MRI, and  I was in  a CAM walking boot for over 8 weeks .My bucket list idea of training for the Super Seal was sunk for the year.On the funny side, I was really the best 'yo mamma"joke... breaking a toe vacuuming....

Fast forward :

Dec 2014, registration is complete, Steve and I have committed to March 15,2015. My brother Nick is joining us to race in his preparation for Vineman 2015.

So here I am today. December 17,2014. I have done my  research for  training programs, running shoes have been delivered, jog bras have been found. I am starting this journey. At the moment, we are in the throws of major remodeling on the new house and I spend quite a bit of time in the car.My schedule is busy but I will make the time. When there is a will, there is a way.

 When I talk with friends who have done triathlons there seems be a common theme. One of the three sports is challenging. A dear friend who is a true athlete in every sense of the word struggles with swimming. How strange I thought, but I came to realize that for me, running is my hurdle.

Since breaking my back and experiencing a herniated disc I have not run. It has been 3 years. I have been active, biked for miles, TRX'd , kept up with my yoga.... but no running. I fully admit that I have had  a mental block with the idea. I have been scared of re-injury and the pain that I experienced.

What I have realized through my last marathon debacle(2009) is to listen to my body. The body does not lie. If I remain clear and centered and not allow my ego to get involved, I will be just fine. So in the last two weeks, I have slowly been breaking in my new Adidas and can I tell you something? I have been humbled with  interval's but I feel FANTASTIC, post workout.

Logically I know that with any new exercise program, the first two weeks are the toughest. The body goes into a bit of shock. At the moment I feel like my legs has run a ultra but I have no back symptoms!  Objectively, I know the DOMS will subside and I will begin to find enjoyment again running.The fear of herniation no longer has a hold on me.

So back to the topic, a bucket list. Do you have one? What is important to you? What are things you want to accomplish in your life? The list is personal and can be a powerful tool in your own journey of self-discovery. Do you want to do something amazing in 2015? Maybe you want to travel, begin a new hobby,  have more energy to play with your kids, or like me, completing a triathlon .When you have quiet time, listen and put pen to paper and make your  list. You could very well be uncomfortable like I was initially at the whole idea. After some time, your desires will begin to appear on the paper.

As I plan first quarter workshops for Bliss with Mac, I am amazed at the people brought into my life. It is an absolute honor to witness life changing transformations that can occur taking small steps in the right direction. If anything here resonates with you, I welcome you to contact me personally.

This blog has become a place for my thoughts to flow freely. It has become a platform for readers to get to know me as a person. Who I am, where I come from , how I think and understanding my basic moral compass. I hope this blog has given you the opportunity to get to know me, Macara .

 I  want to humbly thank the readers that have joined me here on this silly little blog of mine. I could have never dreamed of this many page views.The response has been overwhelming. I am truly humbled by the number of readers that visit the blog. If I can in any way support you in your own goals, I am an email away.

As always, wishing you the best,

holiday's, expectations and letting go

Today is December 10th,2014.

What holiday traditions do you have for this time of year? Are you big on baking Christmas cookies?  Maybe you love decorating your home for the holidays. A tradition that I have adopted in my adult years is sending out photo Christmas cards, especially since having the boys.Last year was our first Rogers/Brachmann family card. We took a picture at sunrise on top of a volcano in Maui on Easter morning (freezing I might add). It is one of my favorites since you don't even see our faces, the image speaks for itself.

Establishing and fusing traditions is something we take on every holiday. For Christmas, every year, each of us pick out a new ornament for the tree. We write our name on the bottom and the year. Part of the fun, is looking at the ornaments from years past and what each of us chose. Being in the cozy bungalow this holiday season is a bit more challenging, you see all of our Christmas "stuff" is deep in storage. We are not able to get to the ornaments from past years, so this year we are having to keep the decorations simple, 2014 ornaments only. 

Living this our cozy bungalow has brought many a teaching moment to us all in the past several months. The primary one being that you really don't need all your 'stuff'. It has given all of us an opportunity to prioritize what is really important and what is fluff. This idea is holding true for Christmas as well. We are going up north for the holidays, so we decided we needed just the basics for the bungalow. Jack used some out of the box thinking to make the topper this year :)

I believe the holidays can bring out the best and the worst in people. I know statistically that there are increased strokes at this time of year due to increased stress. I witness people placing self-inflicted pressures on themselves during the holidays. The holidays are a magical time of year especially for those who have Santa coming on Christmas Eve. Parents wanting to make everything perfect for their little ones. I was no different!

Now that the boys have had the rose colored glasses removed. It changes the dynamics a bit. Lists are made but now mostly on Amazon wish lists. Jack was the only kiddo of the three that wrote the old school list to "Santa" which I might add included a puppy.... 

Since Scott passed away a few weeks before Christmas, the happiness of the holiday was effected, especially that first year. This is the third Christmas and in all honesty, having Steve's love for the season has brought a excitement and sparkle back to the boys.  While I make a point to remember Scott on the anniversary of him going home. I remind them of the quote from Dr. Suess,"Don't cry because it is over, smile because it happened".

So while I don't quite know what our Christmas/New Year cards are going to look like. I know that I am going to stay focused on being thankful. I know it is a bit cliche to say that I have a blessed life, but in all sincerity, I do. I have love, I feel love and I give love. At the end of every day, that is what it is really all about.

I welcome you to take a deep breath and step back from your to-do list and think about all the blessings, big and small in your lives. This season is not about all the external 'stuff' like Christmas cards, decorating the house, picking out just the right present, etc. Its about being present in the moments you share with the ones you love, for that is truly the gift.

Wishing you all the best,

Low/high maintence

Low/high maintenance is a term I coined many years back chatting with my best friend Cindy. When it first rolled off my tongue, she looked at me and laughed. You see, I can come up with these Mac-ism's every once in a while. This one happened to stick.

So here is the thought behind the term. There are areas of my life where I am  really low maintenance. On the other hand, there are a few areas of my life where I  can be completely high maintenance. So instead of living in the land of medium, I'm Low/high or High/low depending on the specific situation.

Areas of low maintenance:

 CLOTHES, I enjoy shopping at TJ Maxx, Ross, Target all those discount places and I LOVE being able to find things on sale that I actually will wear.  I buy simple classic pieces. I don't  tend to buy  trendy items, unless I  really love them. When it comes to clothes, I had on my bucket list to purchase a kick ass pair of expensive jeans. But, my favorite ones are the Gap boyfriend jeans.


NAILS, another area of low maintenance for this girly. I have pedicures  to keep my toes looking clean and polished, but my fingernails? I think I spent too many years at Mercy hospital outpatient physical therapy treating patients with manual techniques. Long nails are not my thing, would rather keep them on the shorter side.


HAIR, I have lots of it. I've had people take locks of my cut hair at the salon to try and match with their colorist. My hair is on the longer side at the moment and in all honesty, usually in a bun on top of my head. Between my brothers and I, I was given the gift of a seriously full head of thick hair. They unfortunately did not fair so well. It takes so much time and effort to get my hair looking cute, it has to be a special occasion. The only time I am guaranteed having stylish hair is when I am leaving the salon.... Thank you Aliza Margolis for your talent and strong arms ....I will on occasion take a #daily 3 picture when I leave just to remember that I do have a cute cut and style. Here is the flip side to that...... I have experienced some seriously shitty hair cuts in my day. I've even walked out with crooked bangs!... no joke.. so with my low maintenance day to day  approach, I am high maintenance about what stylist chair I choose to sit....and with that there are no coupon's ;)

Now, I think you are asking yourself, so tell me  about some high maintenance items Mac....

EATING OUT, this is tricky because part of my high category is that I am gluten and dairy free. I have learned over the years , what I can and cannot eat without consequences. I have learned to eat instinctively. I've learned that I don't have to order from the menu. For example the other night at the little boys football end of season dinner, I asked the waiter if I could order off the menu. I told him what I wanted and WA--LA....a delicious salad was served amidst the sea of hot wings and  I felt completely satisfied.

EYELASHES, what? yes, eyelashes. I get them tinted. You see I don't like wearing mascara daily. On the days I am teaching hot yoga (105 F, 40-60% humidity) it would be a joke to even apply! So tinting, gives me dark lashes without the hassles for day to day living.

SELF TANNER, again you ask what? Well, here is the scoop with this one. I am a natural red head who has hazel/brown eyes. My skin tan's compared to those with blue or green eyes. That was great for me in my younger years, until I was diagnosed with melanoma in 1998 at the age of 28. After that, natural tanning was no longer an option... I would always say that at 50 my skin would be healthier, with  less sun damage since I was diagnosed at such a young age..I have plenty of scars from biopsy's etc, but fine lines and wrinkles I think I am a little ahead of the game.. So back to self -tanning, the  flip side of my HIGH to my LOW, I have tried  many brands over the years, some far pricier than others , and guess which one I prefer, Jergens and St Mortiz at the moment... go figure... nothing fancy....

It is quite interesting when you stop and think about where you draw your line in the sand. Sometimes, there is no  justified reason why you feel a certain way. What are your deal breakers and what are non-issues.... I welcome you to take moments during the course of your day, and check in with yourself, take some mental notes, maybe a have a good giggle or two.

So now that you know some of my high/lows, I would love to hear from you!


Wishing you all the best,

P.S. For those who read last weeks post, here is a picture of the aftermath of the hippie powder extravaganza 

Giving thanks to past and present.. Happy Thanksgiving from Ixtapa

What is the first thing that comes to your mind when you think Thanksgiving? I think most would say  family. Time of re connection. For me it was a chance to be able to see my extended family that I didn't see for most of the year.

Thanksgiving is a big deal in my family.Before I can explain the significance of  Thanksgiving,  I need to give you a little bit of family history.

 My father, Monroe as he was lovingly referred to by most, was one of 4 Quick brothers. He legally changed his name from George Washington Quick (being born in 1919, you can take a wild guess what day he was born) to James Canfield Monroe.  All the rest of the family, have the last name Quick, except for the 14 children my father, um fathered. Yours truly is the youngest. Yes, you did read correctly, 14.

My Aunt Bobbie and my Uncle Blaine(youngest of the brothers) would host Thanksgiving every year. I'm not sure when the tradition started,taking on the huge feat of feeding the masses but I am thankful that Thanksgiving is her favorite holiday. Thanksgiving was the day when you were able to see all the cousins,second cousins aunts, uncles, close family friends, from near and far all under one roof.

 I have so many memories that put a smile on my face of craziness that happened on Thanksgiving. I want to thank Bobbie Quick for all the years of cooking amazing food and the many memories you gave all of us by opening up your home.

This is one of my favorites, because you can see my dad in the far right corner with his huge mustache .This happened to be my dad's final Thanksgiving. My cousins and I are in the moment.

As you can see in this picture the tables were always beautifully decorated for the occasion. When I see these pictures I giggle at what we wore oh and we cant forget our hair....

As I've gotten older and circumstances change, the hosting of the Quick's continue to remain the same. Bobbie has handed over the torch so to speak to my cousin Geoff and his wife Arie. Last year was my first year back in CA and introducing Steve and Lucas to the crew. This year I believe the head count is 38 and I cant wait to see the great family photo for 2014!

While I am going to be missing seeing these crazy Quick's, I'm writing today from Ixtapa Mexico.  We are here for the week celebrating  Thanksgiving with the Roger's family. With our new family 5, Steve and I  are fusing traditions and holidays while making new ones along the way. Ixtapa is just that. Changing it up and making many new memories for all. We took family photos yesterday,  here is a behind the scenes look from my phone of all the kiddos 

It is my hope that you all are able to spend quality time with your family this holiday making plenty of memories. If you happen to away from your family during this time of year, it is my prayer that you will be home soon. But in the mean time, make some good memories where you are and keep your loved ones close to your heart.

I want to personally thank you all for your support reading my blog. I am humbled by reader response. It is my intention to continue to write about my life, I am overjoyed that people want to read! I never had any expectations with my blog, so this is beyond anything I could have imagined.  I am looking forward to all that Bliss with Mac brings, but for today, I am thankful  for your support.

All the best,

p.s. we are having a family competition today, ending with a big color powder party on the beach.... photos next week... making memories ......:)

a very special week

There has been lots going on in our little  neck of the world. I have held off writing about our next home until now. Tomorrow is closing day for The Roger's resort Agoura.

this will be our view from the backyard...

I am thankful that I have watched enough remodeling shows to know about a house having good bones, all the rest can be modified....
                      oh and...
                                                                    Location, location, location

When Steve and I blended our families we moved into his house. His house was fantastic, except that with our growing brood, we needed another bathroom and most importantly, to live in the school district....We knew it was a  just a matter of time before we would put his house on the market. One month short of a year from the boys and I moving to CA the house went on the market. Thankfully, it was only 4 days before we were in 20 day escrow. Every realtor that previewed the house, said the same thing... " do you know how hard it is going to be to get this in Agoura?" We knew it was going to be challenging....

What I can tell you today is this, we close tomorrow, then permits are immediately being pulled for demo....Yup, a project and to say I'm excited is a bit of an understatement. To say this has been a long haul is also a huge understatement.

I am a firm believer that everything really does happen for a reason. There was a reason that we have been in our cozy bungalow since Aug. There have been many teaching moments woven throughout our time in the rental (that could be another separate blog  post)I know that all of us will have a greater appreciation for living closer to schools, friends and extra curricular activities.

Tonight, I have a thankful heart thinking about how much we have to withstand these last couple months. To be able to have gotten  the boys to their respective sports practices, games and  appointments was head spinning on occasions. My steno notepad was my guide. If you follow my bliss with mac Facebook account or instagram you would see my posts of my daily 3 that started when we moved into the rental. I personally needed to find things to be appreciative each day. That is how my #daily3 pictures of appreciation began!

I came across this great quote that I think of often and have  read it on occasion in my yoga class.

Sometimes yoga is fitness. Sometimes yoga is prayer. Sometimes yoga is on a mat, sometimes it is in the middle of rush hour. Sometimes yoga is very bendy and photogenic, sometimes it is very messy and private. Sometimes yoga is choosing peace under pressure or gratitude over grievance. Sometimes it is a hug, a high five or just being present to the miracle of right now... -Kara Egitto

I know that although closing happens tomorrow, moving will not be happening immediately. It might be after the new year before we actually are in the new house. I am looking forward to the process of watching the house become our home. The other exciting news is that we are leaving on Saturday to go to Mexico with Steve's family for Thanksgiving! Living with 3/4's of our possessions in storage has been interesting.... Let's just say, I am thankful to know the exact location of my passport (check #daily3  a couple weeks back)

Although I am going to miss my entire extended family's Thanksgiving silliness. I am looking forward to spending some quality time with Steve's family this year.  With every holiday we celebrate as a family, we are creating  new memories that will last a lifetime.

Wishing you all the best,

the rule of 10-10-10

10 minutes, 10 months or 10 years...


I know the first time I heard this concept. It was after we had bought the truck and I had free XM radio. Oprah has a station (I don't have XM radio any longer but guessing she still has the station). Her long time friend  Gayle King had a show that somehow was always on while I was driving. She mentioned this concept specifically about when making decisions dealing with her adult children. I'm certain  she mentioned the author etc, but I have to admit, I was having a light bulb moment and all that sunk in was 10 minutes, 10 months, 10 years.

Ever since that first day I heard the concept, I have used this in making decisions. I decided to do some research to see where in fact this idea had originated from so I can give the author rightful acknowledgement. Suzy Welch wrote the book and devised the concept. Suzy Welch, thank you.

I decided  to write about 10-10-10 today because  I can say that at the age of 44, I have learned many life lessons. One of most important, is that that I will continue to have an issue or situation arise until I learn what lesson I need to learn. I am a firm believer that you will be put into or given situations where you are there to learn a valuable lesson. If you don't learn the lesson, it will return. Maybe not looking exactly the same, BUT the lesson remains unchanged. It is simply wrapped up in a different package.

 As a young girl I was never told this sage advice. As a parent I have been very intentional about planting seeds of  this concept in the boys.'Trust me boys, learn your lesson the first time or you will have the issue re-visit you again and again'. I use these times during these life lessons as teaching moments. It helps them to not wallow in the poor me mode (the pity party must be brief) and focus on what they are supposed to be learning from the given situation. Some are more significant lessons that need to be learned, while others are the smaller irritating ones of teenage boys growing up learning life skills.

It is my experience when raising kids, there are lessons being learned left and right.  I look at difficult decisions keeping 10-10-10 in mind. The concept allows me the ability to make decisions with far less deliberation. I think of times where the boys acted as though it was THE MOST IMPORTANT thing.... yeah, not really. When you project out 10 minutes, yes, they will be upset, 10 months, probably not, 10 years, not a chance they will even remember.

The issue arises when the lesson has not been learned. When you being to feel like you are having a Groundhog day moment.  You know what I mean, you are thinking to yourself, or maybe verbalizing  out loud, 'you've gotta be kidding me'. Again? As parents we have all been there. It is not a comfortable place to be. As far as the  kids, I don't know if they see it as the same lesson coming back  for another go at the lesson, or that they are simply in  a crappy place.

I know that we all have been given 10-10-10 moments in life. Turning points that last far longer than 10 years. Moments that will stay in our gray matter until our last breath. They create who we are and what we become. I believe that these moments and how we learn and proceed mold us into the beings we are meant to be.

I welcome you to try 10-10-10, notice if it changes your decision making process.

All the best,
Mac

10,000 hours

In the fall of 2013 I was introduced to the author Malcom Gladwell. I had never read any of his books until last fall. Technically, with all the driving I was  doing, I listened to him on audio book while shuttling boys.

The first book I listened to was Outliers. Amazing read if you haven't read. Among many topics that he writes about is the idea of 10,000 hours. That a person needs to dedicate 10,000 hours to a given sport, musical instrument etc. With those 10,000 hours comes honing of skills where a person  could achieve a certain level of mastering or success. 

I am a firm believer that some people are blessed with God given talent. Musically, there are prodigies. Athletically, there are people that walk this earth that can do amazing things without too much effort. For the rest of us, it takes time , patience, perseverance and more importantly a mindset to never give up. 

So when looking at my own life, I think about how many hours I have worked with patients in physical therapy. I knew when I graduated back in 1999, I was new and had much to learn beside what I was taught in class and  read in books. The real learning for me happened on the clinical floor. I have put in my 10,000 hours. Am I an expert? Heck no! But what I can tell you is that I am confident in what I have learned and know. I believe that when you stop learning you stop living. My dad always taught me that I should learn 3 new things each day.(Interesting to think about now as an adult..)

 I too have been given a gift. This gift comes in the form of being able to communicate and connect with people. I have a true sense of my own calling at this point in my 44 years on this earth. I am here to help others, in whatever form that takes. Earlier in my life it manifested in physical therapy. Now,  it is health/wellness coaching and yoga They all fall under the umbrella of making a positive difference in peoples lives. 

.

So today as I write this blog. We are coming to the close of football and water polo season. Mitchell has never played polo before this summer. He is a strong swimmer. He was on a huge learning curve in Agoura since most boys he is playing with have been playing as long as he has been swimming laps! It has been interesting to watch him develop and learn from coaches and other players. As a mother, I have had to remind him on a few occasions ,that he is playing with boys that have put in their hours.

Jack played football for the first time this year. As a mother, I really didn't want him to play. Jack on the other hand was all about the idea.... Steve thought it would be a good structured environment for him to learn about the game and accountability.  Being the second to the smallest was tough as a mom to watch while he was on the line.. I knew I needed to learn from the experience as much as Jack.

So both my boys have put in hours in something new this year. Not even close to the magic 10,000 hours. As the season ends, it is the time where decisions need to be made about winter season. What sport will be next... Mitchell will continue with water polo in club until swim season begins for high school in the spring. Jack? Maybe water polo is next on his list of sports to try.  He is more of a team sports kid... who knows, maybe being a lefty could be helpful.

Have you heard the song by  Macklemore 10,000 hours? 

Before Fall of 2013 I had never used the reference 10,000 hours in conversation. Now? you guessed it... plenty... 

What have you done in your life for 10,000 hours?

Wishing you all the best,

apparently I am more traditional than I thought

I wrote this original blog in 2014.
I read it today and decided to repost for any who might not have read the first time around.

Many things have changed, yet many remain the same. 

As I have grown and learned so much as a mom of highschool boys. The lessons have been a mix of laughable, painful but most of all memorable. I'm sure that there is plenty more in store, I'm just gonna get in the lazy river as best as I can and roll with whatever comes :)


Many of you might be able to relate.

I have been tossing around a few ideas to write about this week. I kept coming back to one general topic. Homecoming,traditions and emotions.

What I am realizing is that as a 46 year old woman and mother, I appreciate some of the traditions and chivalry that I had grown up with.  I want to clarify some thoughts before I go further. First, I understand the circle of life. I understand that my boys are going to grow up and experience what life has to offer. This includes girlfriends, lovers and wives.  Secondly, I also know that as a mother I am here on this earth to guide and teach them to be decent productive members of society.To borrow my 84 year old mom saying, "to launch them". To teach them about having a  solid moral compass and demonstrate respect for women.

 I have always told my boys to be kind to girls. I explained that as boys become interested in girls, they start doing things to gain the attention of these girls. Boys in general want ANY attention girls will give them be it positive or negative.

 Typically, girls will remember the negative before they remember the positive.It is just the way the brain is wired.  I always use Phil L. from 6th grade snapping my bra strap as my example. He probably was really nice to me but I will always think of the bra snapping incident first.

With that being said. I feel as though I had planted enough seeds about respect into Mitchell to be ready for homecoming. I also know that I have the fear of God in him about taking pictures that could haunt him later in life. That is a whole other blog entry. I am thankful I grew up before the internet ..... lets just say that....

In the days leading up to Homecoming, I was experiencing similar feelings to when he was getting on the bus the first day of  middle school. He was going to come back a different boy. Some change was going to happen, one step further away from innocence.

  Last Saturday Mitchell and I were in Santa Barbara at a water polo tournament for the day. We had time to discuss the idea of him going up to her door and meeting her father, shaking his hand firmly(just as my dad said should be done) and looking him in the eye. He was ready.

The texting began in the car ride home, she did not want him to come to the door. She didn't want him to meet her father. As a mom, it made my heart sink just a bit. I have to be honest. I wanted  him to have that quintessential first date experience of meeting the parents, corsage , photos, dance..... clearly that was not happening...

We were able to get a few photos at the school before they were off into the sea of teenagers and loud music. My heart was a bit sad. Although I was happy for him, I knew he was going to get back into the car a different boy... Steve laughed and said how he was happy to see that Mitch had 'game'.  I was a bit sick to my stomach and needed a glass of wine.

Steve posted on Facebook that he wanted to go full 'Damone' in the car  while chauffeuring but played Physical Graffiti with a huge smile on his face....Maybe this is just a mom thing I was thinking.... What I didn't mention was the fact that 2 weeks earlier at the dinner table, Mitchell announced that he was planning on having his first kiss on Homecoming.... yup....it happened.


Now that a few days have passed. I am able to think about my sweet boy turning into a young man. I finally asked if he went 'full soap opera kiss'( you know what I mean,very dramatic) for the first time... he said no, it was a bit more awkward than he anticipated. It was a brief  but meaningful exchange. The joking started pretty quickly,when Mitchell said ,' well, by the 23rd time' .....

Today as I am typing my thoughts for this blog. I am thankful that Mitchell is growing into an amazing young man. That he felt comfortable enough telling us us what his plans were, although it caught us all off guard that night at the kitchen table. I must acknowledge that we are doing something right with this parenting gig.

I know Mitchell is just the tip of our iceberg, we have two more in the wings waiting patiently for their turn. I am thankful for being able to witness these boys staking small  steps forward shedding their innocence. I know I am not the first, plenty of mom's before me have experienced this same feeling. Here is to enjoying the high school years..

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Getting in the lazy river

My original post from 2014...

Many things have changed since I originally wrote this post, but what remains the same is my belief system. I do believe that everything happens for a reason and getting in the lazy river is a perfect analogy some days...


Have you heard of the lazy river?

I'd like to tell you a funny story of the lazy river becoming a great analogy. For my 40th birthday, my two best girlfriends and I went to the Bahamas. We stayed at a very shwanky hotel that is part of The Atlantis. The story I am going to tell  needs a disclaimer, many vodka tonics were consumed before and after this adventure, after all it was my 40th birthday.

We made the  decision to  float in the lazy river, sounded like a a great idea...

 Once we settled into these giant tubes, the feeling of allowing the current to navigate you was very enjoyable. That was until the lazy river turned into  roaring rapids!.... I look over and see Tiffany who is 6 feet tall getting thrashed around, then, FLIP OVER! she acted as though she was going to drown! All Cindy and I could manage to say was "stand up, stand up!" laughing hysterically.The water was maybe 3-4 feet deep at best.

 As I think about this story today, it still makes me  laugh at how dramatic she was! She was pissed her eye lashes were coming off and she lost an earring! All Cindy and I could do was belly laugh. I'm thankful I was able to get a few pictures...

Tiffany was pissed that Cindy and I were not taking the pounding like she was. We kept saying 'go with the flow', don't fight the current! She ended up with scrapes on her elbows and knees from the ride.oh, and lashes were gone....

This morning I listened to a post a dear friend put on Facebook of  the Leo King , an astrologer.  He was speaking about a huge  energy shift happening , how the heavens are making the shift to right the wrongs,or something to that effect. Lots more astrology lingo that I really didn't understand  about planets/energy etc. What I took away from this video was that this week was going to get nuts, and just to hold on tight while the extreme energy makes the shift.The goal of keeping inner peace while everything else feels very off. It was interesting video to watch while I was sipping on my coffee waiting  for the caffeine to kick in... I went on with starting my day, taking the boys to school.

Have you ever had those days, when things don't seem to go as planned, or even better, nothing is easy?  You feel like a salmon swimming upstream.These are the days, I tell myself to get into the lazy river.... This week is showing itself  (I know it is only Tues night) to be a lazy river kinda week. My days are typically scheduled, without much wiggle room.  That is until days like this happen and all I can do is laugh and be thankful I have a good sense of humor about how my day unfolds. I will just say without going into detail, that my day was nothing like  I had planned. I might also add, that not nearly as much was accomplished but plenty of energy was used trying.

I am a believer in Karma. The boys asked the other night why I don't honk at people that cut in front of me while I'm driving.  I even go as far as to wish them  a good day. The boys think I'm weird.I told them it isn't worth honking unless it could have caused an accident. They didn't understand... Then the teachings of Karma showed itself.... the car that had cut me off, got stuck and I continued moving forward and without any red lights while they were stuck in the thick of traffic far behind. I explained to the boys that was Karma in action. They thought it was luck and coincidence, I begged to differ.

So as I look at my schedule for tomorrow, I know there will be changes that will happen. I am aware that I must get in the lazy river and go with the flow. I know what comes before me is there for a reason. I simply must continue to have a good attitude and keep smiling.  

Life is about perspective...

Tiffany thought she was drowning  but at 6 feet tall, all she needed to do was stand up in the 3 feet of water.......

When life gets overwhelming, try getting in the lazy river friends...
have peace in knowing you are exactly where you are supposed to be. 

 all the best, mac

homecoming to freshman boy? = no planning

Homecoming is next weekend. Mitchell has asked a girl and she has said yes. We have been hearing from other boys about their crazy ways of asking girls to homecoming. I give these boys credit but I'm thinking, wow, they are  setting the bar high for the rest of their high school years!

My Mitchell didn't go for any of the hoopla, he went right up and looked into her eyes and asked. He did say he was yelling a bit because he was so nervous.... 

So why the blog you ask? Well, as some of you know, Mitchell is my absent minded professor. He is so in the moment,  he hasn't thought about the next phase, planning. I explained to him that he needs some information. Basics..

• is he going with a group of friends, if so, who?
• how is he getting to the dance? are we driving?
• what color is Sofia wearing so he can coordinate and buy a corsage

I have seen so many photos of friends sharing their kiddos homecoming pictures. Love them and got me thinking, Mitchell what your plan?.... in his 14 year old head he hasn't even thought of these questions.

... I told him jokingly that the school asked for volunteers, the theme this year is "Galaxy" thought Steve and I could have a great time with that one. I told him I could get some Princess Leia hair, Steve could be Obi-Wan Kenobi and have a great time at the coat check in... he was not a fan of that idea....

Starting in Middle school, there have been meetings with the educators discussing the idea allowing kids to take responsibility, decrease the 'helicopter parent' mentality.  I am a firm believer in allowing them to fly, with a net underneath just in case. As far as Homecoming goes, I would say let him figure it out, but I feel a bit bad for Sofia if he didn't have at least minimal  things in place. 

It is so interesting to witness how each boy has such different brains. Jack is my planner, he is packed 2 weeks before we go on a trip. He was dressed for his Bar Mitzvah 3 hours before he had to leave. Mitchell, well, planning is not his strongest attribute at the moment. I cross my fingers that as his frontal lobe matures certain things , like planning, executive function type activities become more second nature...

This next week should be interesting to see how this unfolds. The family truckster will be cleaned and ready to go just in case..... Maybe I could find a chauffeur hat.....

Wednesday, woke up with a grateful heart

Admittedly, these last few days have been a bit of a blur between tears. I woke up this morning with a grateful heart, not sure why. I looked outside the front windows and saw this amazing light on the trees. I then remembered, God is always in control. Trust and look for him, he is always there.

What I have always said is that MN has different beauty than CA. This was an MN sun/light/dark clouds moment happening outside our cozy bungalow.

 I appreciate all the kind words and messages that have been sent over the last couple of days. Please know I have read them all.  I have been processing the grief and allowing the feeling to be. My friend Dee wrote a message that really hit home, made me cry instantly. It made me recognize yet again, how amazing the people you have in your life really are. Even in the darkest times there are silver linings.These silver linings come in so many different forms, when you begin to open up and allow yourself to view things from a different mind set, you can see them clearly.

I received this in the mail yesterday from Robin Rogers and let me tell you, it made my day. Here is the beautiful part about the whole thing, she had probably mailed this before anything had happened, yet I received this exactly when I needed it the most, last night.

I go back to my original blog and using my favorite Andy Grammer song, Keep your head up. It really is true, Only rainbows after rain, the sun will always come again.

So today, I am seeing the 'rainbows' so if you follow my Bliss with Mac on  Instagram or Facebook accounts, please know you might be seeing not only my daily 3 of gratitude, there might be more pictures of my 'rainbows'

Wishing you all the shift to see your own 'rainbows' today

Peace,
mac

Where to begin this blog

Yesterday I lost a dear friend. Her name was Coco Bella, she  was our 6 year old chocolate lab. She was never a very healthy dog, Addison's, hypothyroid, seizures, hip dysplasia. But, at the end of the day, she brought light and love into my heart every single day. She chose yesterday to simply go underneath our couch and move to the other side of the rainbow.

In all honesty, I was a hot mess yesterday.It was a bit surreal. Anyone who has lost a family animal member knows what we are going through.  I'm still trying to get used to not having her here. My heart aches for our other pup Finn who keeps looking around for her. He is on heightened alert, checking on the boys frequently.

The boys are going through their own grieving process. I know logically with time, the pain subsides. I also know and tell others, that when feelings like these occur, to think of them as house guests that you really don't want to stay. Be kind, knowing in the back of your head they are not staying forever.So I am doing as I remind others of, allowing the feeling to come and know they will be staying for only a short time like an unwelcome house guest.

So today is a new day, a day of transition. The boys had the day off school so sleeping was high on the priority level. I decided that today was a great day to juice up some tasty green drink. A cleansing of sorts. I figure I was clearing my emotions out ,I might as well do some internal cleansing as well.




I have found that some juicing recipes are really heavy on the fruit thus sugar. This particular favorite of mine has: kale, spinach,romaine celery, Meyer Lemons (if available) and apples.

So today, as I am wrapping my head around the fact that my coco bella isn't among us, I know she is a happy pup swimming and running around on the other side of the rainbow. I believe that Dr. Seuss said it best

Thank you Coco Bella for choosing us 6 years ago. You will be missed .